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I Miss You :(

Me and my mother had never really been close when I was a child, I was always daddy's little girl, It was only when i went into my teenage years, When i started caring about makeup, cloths and boys that me and my mum started to get close - Really close. We would say that she was a old woman and i had a family of my own, We would still be close.
But then was diagnosed with cancer. She didn't know until late on she had it and by the time she went to a doctor, it was too late - There was nothing they could do. During that time was the darkest days of my life, I knew she was dying and i couldn't do anything to help her,
She died last year. Now I'm living in a family full of boys, My dad and my little brother. I had to BECOME my mum and look after my little brother while my dad was at work, and although he's a great kid, Its not always easy. I feel that I'm missing out on my teenage years. I still go to parties and have fun with friends but its not the same knowing that i have to go home and make dinner for my brother, Do the washing and on top go that do school work.
Theres times i just go up to my room and cry cause i miss her so much. It makes me mad that i only really had a little while with her before she died. People tell me that she's always with me, But its not the same as her being physically there. She can watch over me but she can't hold me when i cry and i can't talk to her. I wish i could rewind the clock and go back to when i was a little girl so i could spend more time with her. Im afraid i'll have that regret for the rest of my life :(
laurie37 laurie37 18-21, F 6 Responses May 7, 2012

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I believe, if you are destined to lose, its better to lose someone you are not close than lose someone you .. at least it hurts less.. <br />
when I am about to lose someone, I usually quarrel with them so that its easier to forget each other.. I let anger soak up the love. :'(

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I'm sorry for your loss. I used to work with cancer patients & have seen what they go through. It is always hard on the family. I'm here, if you ever need to talk. Is it ok with your dad? You really need to be careful, some people are just out to scam people. I wouldn't want you to get hurt by someone.

She is in a beautiful place with no pain and watching you, she does not want to see you sad, but it is ok to cry, try to do something nice for someone everyday in her memory.

Thank you :)

Message me whenever you want.

Thank you. I really accreciate that )

that brought a tear to my eye, i dont have a clue what your going through to be honest and it must be hard having to do that every day! i dont know what to say but all i can say is if you ever want to talk just message me, im here! :)

Thank you soo much, That means alot :D

its alright :)