I Wish My Mother Loved Me

My mother must have hated me because not even animals treat their little ones in this manner. I was abused emotionally, sexually and psychologically. She never acknowledged anything good I did only the bad. But my sister was her real daughter to her cause she had the father with the money and mine was not even worth her time to look at. My mother is a selfish person if your not an advantage to her in any way your not worth her energy. She pretends she is a great friend and mother and what a hard life she's had, but she has so many faces and lies. Where does she think I learned if from? Now I dont speak to her because she is so negative and I dont need that and my kids dont need that or her. Right now Im faceing medical issuses that threaten my life I dont want to leave this world bitter or mad. I love my four kids and would die for them, I just always wanted someone to feel like that for me. I need a mom to tell me that I've done a good job with my kids or just a mother figure to hold me.
Lostatfour Lostatfour
36-40, F
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

I am here for you and you are doing a great job. If you can realize that what she did was wrong and you are doing better, you are already way ahead of her and way above her. A website I found helpful and what made me realize what my mother's real issues were is www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/ Usually when a mother has the ability to do so much harm to her child, she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and is incapable of loving them. I miss my own mother everyday. February 3rd, the day I got married, was also the first year anniversary of No Contact. I haven't had a single conversation with her since that date. And I can't say I miss the toxicity of her presence. My 3 year old daughter is a happy and loving child. I got married in India and still am here as a matter of fact. She is loved. I am loved. My mother in law acts like I'm her daughter (the one she never had, she had two boys). I feel like I'm part of a family for the first time in my life. That site helped me a lot in healing.