I Really Don't Have The Words To Make A Title.

I grew up a hard life for many years, I'm eighteen years old and I'm now living back in my small home town in Australia. I've been told I'm far too mature for my age and I agree, I can barely communicate with people the same age as me.

I crave artistic experiences, my life is so dull and this community is so closed-minded. There are no opportunities for me here at all. I feel like I'm just sitting and doing nothing. I'm currently doing an entry course to University, at first I was so happy - but this is really not what I want to do. I've always dreamed of being somewhere different. With odd and strange people, I need that kind of culture. I don't even like this country... I feel like there's nothing here for me. I've always dreamed of moving to America to live an impulsive life, find a job in the art industry.

I love getting my hands dirty. I've tried to apply myself to University so hard but I can't even complete a singular assignment, I can't even make the deadlines. I don't enjoy anything I do. I've struggled for depression for years and where I am just isn't helping. My family eases the burn of this, but it's starting to wear off. I don't associate with anyone my age in this community, I grew up here and I don't fit in with anyone here, I don't appeal to any of them either.

I don't mind having a small amount of money, I'm happy to live in a small place, surrounded by friends and art that I love. I'd be happy in a dingy studio apartment, with a mattress on the floor, just as long as I had the culture. I have no idea what to do, I'm so torn between my family and being happy. This is a huge step for me, actually doing something about this. I've been told I'm an idealist, none of these regular things satisfy me. I need to get out, move to the US and experience things. This has disabled me for years, I didn't even get to finish highschool I just couldn't cope with anything anymore.

It is such an astronomical step for me to move out of home, and into a foreign country, with no experience. But I feel like I need it.

I can't keep trying to find a new refuge and realising they're not making me happy and leaving things unfinished.
KisaKisa KisaKisa
3 Responses Mar 24, 2012

This sounds just like me. Im also 18 been depressed for the past few years, just can't get out of it. Assignments :/ don't even start, school just don't suit me.I want to be somewhere else, away from family in a different environment, where Im accepted for who i am and what i want, art is my life. I'm also too too mature for my age, don't connect with anyone around my age, and find it so much easier to relate to people way older than me -__- bam this life is screwed man.. You need to move honey, believe me if i had a chance i'd do it in an instant. Go out there and make your life worth living. Do what YOU want to do, and fight for what YOU believe in, Good luck :)

you should learn how to cook. Start with an egg. Fry it. Eat it. There you finished something. Extrapolate that out. Boom, success. <br />
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Otherwise, you sound miserable enough to just dig a hole in the Outback and wait for all the venomous creatures to eat you.

I really don't have words to make a comment.......... ^_^<br />
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Well may be:<br />
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"Best of luck".