My LifeI was brought up in a wonderful home with fantastic parents. I know how lucky I am especially compared to some others.
My childhood has nothing but good memories.
Even as a child I recall thinking that god had something special in store for me such as a calling or even something more grand. This was a feeling I always carried with me. I have no reason why. But now that has long since gone.
I guess that things started to go wrong after leaving school and going from job to job without any purpose in my life.
I'm now 39, never married and no children of my own.
I've had a couple of special people in my life but I guess I wasn't good enough to keep them by my side. My heart now broken once too many times, I fear I will never allow myself to love again.
My friends who I would die for, soon forget when it's time to help, friends since childhood suddenly gone.
I still live with my ex partner in the spare room , seeing her every day, knowing what I've lost, but unable to move on or away due to financial issues.
With a broken heart and empty soul I go day to day wishing it would end.
Getting up in the morning is becoming harder and harder, no will or no spirit inside to keep me going.
Emptiness, lost, shallow, broken, hurt I just don't know anymore.
Why am I writing this? I honestly don't know.