Torn

Hubby and I have an open relationship. We are very happy and it is working great.

My best friend and my hubby have a thing going on. It is with my blessing and I completely approve of this.

Best friend is "single" and has started seeing someone else. Not an issue. Hubby understands that she needs someone consistent in her life and he is happy for her.

Until 2 weeks ago.

Hubby took her out, spent the day (and a lot of money on her) treating her like the amazing beautiful woman that she is because she deserves it. I guess the whole time he is doing all these wonderful things with her she is texting this other guy (or one of her many boytoys). My husband has huge feelings for her. He loves her not as much as loves me but he does love her and wants the best for her and wishes she would see how he feels about her even though he tells her all the time.
That day they come back from the city and decide to go to a bar, all was going great until She saw the other guy at the bar hitting on someone. She started texting him, went outside and called him. When my hubby and her finally went back to the house she was on the phone with the other guy for 2 hours. When all my hubby wanted to do was spend the evening with her she was more worried about this other guy.

Now hubby and my best friend are having issues. She just see's him as a "something on the side" when he see's her as so much more.

I have vowed to both of them that I am not going to get in the middle of them two. If they want to tell me what they do or have going on then thats fine but I'm not going to pry or try to break in on their relationship because if I did then it could go bad between all three of us, when in actualality i would probably see my hubby's side over hers.

She is trying to bring me into it. She wants advice. I know what I want to say to her but it won't be pretty so I have tried to keep my distance from the whole situation.

Last night hubby was in a crappy mood. I asked him what was wrong he said he was tired and his legs hurt and he was pissed, so I asked I'm sorry your tired and sore, can I ask what your pissed about. He blew up told me that I was pushing for him to talk to me and he didnt want to talk and he eventually left. Was gone for a couple hours I went to bed and texted him that I was in bed and hope he was ok and all that sweet stuff.....

He came home we talked for a little bit about nothing I gave him a hug and told him when he really wants to talk that I am here and thats the reason why I'm here.

Second problem is I work with my best friend, 2 desks are in between us.

She is wanting advice again but instead of saying who is upsetting her she is saying "somebody" I don't want to be in the middle of this but I don't want to leave her hanging like I don't care. What the hell am I supposed to do.

If I talk to her and she goes back to him and says "your wife" said this and that then it could be bad on all three ends. If I don't talk to her and keep my thoughts and "advice" to myself then I'm not being supportive.
If I talk to him instead then I'm pushing.

UGHl...................... Of course I can't post on facebook that I'm between a rock and a hard spot because they are both my friends on FB. I cant discuss at work because I work with her. I cant discuss at home for obvious reasons. I need help. I want to sit down and talk to the both of them at the same time but if I suggest that then I'm afraid everything will go south in a hurry and I don't want either of them mad at me. I don't want the tension that is there when she comes over for dinner. and I don't want my husband to not talk to me because he has other **** on his mind. and I don't want her not talking to me because my husband has her confused and ticked off.

nagem81 nagem81
31-35
2 Responses Sep 6, 2012

Wow, what a tangled web! I just ended my last relationship of 5 years last week, I was starting to miss him a bit, I'm glad I read this, I'm glad to be single....it's so much more simple. Good luck with what you're dealing with, being stuck in the middle.

sorry but it takes a lot to make them work