I Am Pissed Off.

I... Am pissed off. Everyone excepts me to be some perfect child without stress, imperfections or ever being in a bad mood, and it sucks. My "best friend" ****** me off because we get along great one second, and the next she's ignoring me and being a brat without even knowing it. I don't know what to do about her. And then last Friday my iPod touch falls out of my pocket at school or on the bus and it's lost. I save and buy myself these freaking things, and I lose them!!! I take OBESSIVE care of them, and it's the second I've lost two over the passed year. Four-hundred ******* dollars that some greedy **** probably has now. My mom, who I love to death, is presumptuous and defensive. If I'm talking to a girl, I'm dating her when I'm freaking gay. If I'm upset, like now, which I rarely openly am, it's because of something stupid and she defensively rants about how she's failing. I have no one to talk to about it because my best friend is being ****** and my iPod is gone, my mom is complaining about me wanting to buy an iPad with my own saved money for school when my laptop is a broken piece of crap (the hard drive broke so everything is ******* gone), and I'm not appreciated. Every peer thinks I'm some funny guy with no feelings. Everyone thinks I'm some emotionally strong idiot that never has problems. It sucks. These stupid small things are making life miserable and I hate it. I get straight A's, excell in the millions of extra curricular things I do, I'm smart with my money, do everything my parents ask of me without complaining, but it's not good enough. Apparently I should read more and I'm too lazy, for example. Even if I do that, my parents find an issue with what doing then. It makes me so self conscious and insecure with EVERYTHING I do. I'm writing a novel with 26,000 words for **** sake, shouldn't that satisfy them?!!? I can't be a normal freshman in highschool because I'm gay and my interests would gross everyone out. Half of you people will probably comment and call me a *** or something. Imagine bring around your family all your life, and they practically suppose that you're another person. I feelmguilty and stressed about it which sucks. I'm the clean, "perfect" kid that never swears that even strangers go to for advice, and right now I have no one except for this ******* website. I'll never get a relationship, I'll never have a solid BEST friend that cares without just saying "sorry", I'll be miserable sharing a room with a snobby snot of a brother and unsatisfied parents for over four years that don't know me at all, which sucks because besides what I've said about them, they're awesome..... I'm freaking out. I try to be perfect, but everything I do is wrong. I guess my situation isn't as bad as someone dying (which would be horrible), but my life is a mess right now. Nothing is solid and constant, socially, with parents, with what I have... I'm mentally strong as ****, but everyone has to vent at some point.
snollygoster snollygoster
18-21, M
Sep 8, 2012