No Need To Attempt To Fix Me...

I'm here to vent. How can u fix something so totally broken anyways ?. ever since S passed away, I'm a complete loaner, now when i feel I'm getting close I feel your to close and i push u away, thabk Jesus he's helping me to this I love god. No one knows iam cutting and hurting myself again simply because I can't stop. Thats what i always revert too and do i k ow why ? Because its control. It's kinda like other people clearly sees I'm broken and they back away and give sad looks and pity like my sadness is contagious or something. People these days, i don't need peopme right now I think being alone is the beat option for me right now tp adjust. I called bob tonight for those who dont kbow bob was at my other church and apparently he and whole church accused me of wanting more then a fatjer daugter relationship, I know in my heart I need to forgive him and i did ...still working on my dad but like jesus died.and forgives us for our sins I want to forgive him but its hard. I want to message him and tell him but dnt know if i should. **** my life.
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Dec 15, 2012