Whatever

Ok so recently I switched schools. Its supposed to be for "gifted people". Its hell. Everybody here treats me like crap and thinks they're so smart and it just ****** me off. They also make fun of anybody that isn't interested in the exact same stuff as them. Anyway so I make some new friends, naturally, and let me tell you... worst friends ever. They'll randomly delete you off Facebook and when you message them asking why they say "I just don't like you is that so bad." After they make you feel like you're really close. Its emotionally draining not knowing if you have friends today or not. They also think they're so athletic and if you mess up in gym class they won't let you forget it. They exclude me out of everything. "Oh she's my least favorite in this class." Like how old are we? Since when do we sit around discussing our list of favorite people all day? It may sound like I'm just being a typical dramatic girl, but trust me, one day in this class and they've made you cry 3 times. Some of the guys think its so funny to call you fat and tell you that your hair looks stupid. EVERYDAY. I can never stop talking about how much I hate going to school and dealing with them. I used to have best friends from my old school. We were really close, but lately things have been different. She HITS me whenever I do something she doesn't like. And she calls me ''rude" and "mean" and has the NERVE to get upset when I hit her back. We'll be bowling and I'll say a joke she doesn't like and she will kick me really hard with her bowling shoes repeatedly. When we were at the theaters I didn't get something for her and she started pulling my hair out so then I pull her's so she'll let go. So, she starts kicking me and yelling "What the hell is your problem?!?" Really loud to get peoples attention. I can never fight back to her. Its just so annoying. I don't have any close friends at ALL anymore. I feel so alone. I feel so worthless because everybody at school convinces me I'll never be good at anything. I used to skate but every time I try signing up again something happens with my mom so I cant. I try running but my parents won't let me go out in the morning by myself so they say I'll take you at night and they always forget. I tried playing the violin (no lessons my parents said no) and then my brother took it back after a fight. Whats the point of anything. I have no friends. No talents. Nothing. I can't go to sleep at night by myself because I start feeling so hopeless. I have even worse history with older friends who black mailed me and claimed I was the reason they were 'suicidal' and made lies up about me to all my friends. I actually started to believe them and again could not sleep at night. Recommending I get a new circle of friends is pointless as its really hard for me to get to know people and be comfortable enough around them to have fun. Every time I get close to them I end up losing them. Thank you so much if you actually read through this whole thing and understand what I'm feeling. I just feel so worthless, insecure and just sad in general.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 7, 2013