When I first got married, I thought I had a great marriage... balanced, fun. The sex was not the greatest but, that's okay, it was enough. Over the last 9 years I have learned so many very disappointing things. My husband hid important financial things from me, and now we cannot do things we have talked about for a long time (move to a good public school district for our 6 y.o. daughter, for example), move to a better neighborhood, be more upwardly mobile. I have worked very hard for the last 8 years to earn a good living, keep a stable job that pays our bills, provides benefits, and save for retirement, do the bulk of the housework and caring for our child.

He, on the other hand, has liquidated his 401k, started a business multiple times and has yet to earn what he once did, and still doesn't adequately contribute to the family bills. His financial mismanagement scares me to death and I worry about protecting my child's future and my own.

Also, we have very little intimacy, physical or otherwise.

He is next to impossible to talk to about any of this. I have begun to find my voice with him, and am trying to be direct about what I need in this marriage. How and when will I know if we are going to make it? How and when will I know if he wants this family to stay together on terms I can live with, of if he would rather do his own thing? How will I know what to do, and when? Will the rest of my life be one long, slow, painful effort of dragging this person along with me?
realscorpio realscorpio
46-50, F
Aug 21, 2014