Plans, Plans, Plans

Too bad I don't have a plan to get myself out of this one. I am tired of him telling me to get out, and telling him that I don't want to, yet deep inside, nothing would make me happier. I want out. I want out of this, and on to a better life. I need to file bankruptcy, and start rebuilding my credit. I need a better paying job, so that I can get a car. I never should have left the security company. I would have everything I wanted right now. L talks about us doing it together. Maybe I can start making enough that I can open my own checking account, one that he can't touch. Start saving money, and finally be able to make it on my own. I have never had my own things, my own place. It has always been because of a guy. I long to be independant. To provide for myself. To know I don't need anyone. I want my freedom. The freedom to do as I want. Not have to answer to anyone. Maybe then, I can truly experience the happiness that I crave. But until then, I have to sit back, and act as if things are fine, while secretly plotting my escape.
LadyRant LadyRant
22-25, F
Jun 24, 2007