I Have Relationship Issues With Everyone In My Life

I was told recently that I push people away. It took me only a minute to realize that this person was right. See I know deep down that I do that, but to hear it made a huge difference. I don't have any real friends. No one to visit, go to lunch with or talk with on the phone. I live for my children. My main priority is to make sure all their needs are met, the house is clean and life is safe and comfortable for them. I do let people in but my experience is that I am most often betrayed by them talking behind my back , stealing from me and lying to me. I have helped so many people, by giving of myself, my time, food, a place to stay and other things. Yet, I always get burned. Some have stolen from me, others have run my bills up and left without regard that they owe me money. A couple that stayed with me for a shot time left the room they were in a total disaster area for me to clean. I have helped family many times and got stuck with a $756.00 electric bill that they have not even acknowledged they owe. At the same time I was told how I did them wrong when the power got cut off on them. I now have that same family member in my home with his 10 year old son. I said they could stay through the holidays because they were homeless. I have been called every name in the book and threatened because Department of Children and Family's are involved. This guy is a drug user and I found needles and an arm tightening band in reach of the children. He has a Violation of Probation for another charge I found out about. Now he is going to jail and I am going to get custody of his son, (according to the department of children and familys). This child has many, many problems. I have a 6 year old of my own. I am going to be busy with dr appointments, councilor appointments and fighting with family members about visitation. I can't say no because he is family. He really has no other place to go except foster care. Here I am again helping and I know no one is going to appreciate what I going to be going through for this child. I can only hope that the child is helped by what I can do and get done for him. I feel that by letting someone else in my life I will get burned again. He is just a child and he needs lots of love and caring. He needs security and sanity in his environment that he hasn't had for years. I hope that I can provide him with everything he needs. Right now I sure could use a friend that I could trust, and talk too. I really need to get a part time job or something. I am so lonely and its my own fault. I don't know how to trust people enough to allow them to be my friend. I am socially illiterate. Any advise?
lisalongc lisalongc
51-55
Jan 7, 2013