My wife has gone to Vegas for the long weekend with her girlfriends. This is something she would never allow me to do with my buddy's and even worse I haven't heard from her in 2 days and on her friends Facebook post she is never in any of the tags I'm starting to wonder where she really is ?
ZeroCool66 ZeroCool66
51-55, M
6 Responses Sep 1, 2014

Good luck, you're more trusting than me. Just don't allow yourself to be entangled in a bunch of double standard rules that you know she won't follow and go out and have some fun without her and the drama.

This is not good Sir. Have you tried to contact her? It is possible she does not want her friends to tag her. I have been known to omit people from tags because I know they don't want to be tagged.

I've been married 18 years and we both know what's good for the goose, is good for the gander. I know it hurts, I almost was in the same situation once but that's when we put on our man pants and do what we have to do. It may be time for you to fire her if she doesn't start growing up and become honest with what is going on and what she has been doing.

That not good. Your guys age makes me inclined to wanna believe plutonic. That seems sketch to me. Any person would at least send text 1-3 times a day minimum. Also her not allowing you is a sign of guilt. She doesn't trust you cause she doesn't trust self. Plus no text messages or fb yeah not cool. I think that a reason to break up in my opinion

I would think so too, on the text thing but yea Nothing

If it wasn't already Monday. I'd say hit the bar go to ***** club. Try not to allow self to be vulnerable. I see some really bad character traits in her actions. If you allow it, this one probably gonna hurt you

Well Monday morning here in hawaii and I still have not heard from her. I was planning on bringing her here to Maui I have rented a 5000 sq. ft. Beach house for a Month and I was hoping we could spend two weeks together here I thought it might help us reconnect. (Don't get the idea I / we are rich I work in Hawaii but live in SoCal and my company rented the House it's beautiful its in Maui 5000sq. Ft. Estate on the beach and I finished my project early except for some meetings and some moving of equipment. I thought what a romantic ounce in a life time opportunity) but she insisted on going to Vegas with her friends first. When I was working in Kauai for 3 months I begged her to come but she always comes up with these dumb lil excuses like the kids our last one is still at home but she's 18 or this charity is having a function I can't miss...etc.
SadDumbBlind used the word Plutonic I knew what it meant but I actually looked it up and that's us my wife and I of 26 years have a Plutonic relation ship!

Now in my heart I really don't believe she's cheating on me (I hope)but it's painfully obvious that's she is Absolutely not sexually interested in me.
Should I still bring her to Hawaii???

No. No. No. She is completely emotionally detached. Honestly might be good idea to separate at this point. Don't agree to a divorce just separate. This one of few times that space is needed to reconnect. This a viable method middle aged and up. This doesn't work for younger couples. 20 something's and under don't have the mutual life experience, and history for this to be effective. Give her space she wants, you both need to see other people. This is a last ditch effort. I suggest only cause I can tell you don't wanna lose the relationship. Honestly
I think it fubar. Will need many months to a year before reconciliation possible. Only reason she would pick Vegas over Hawaii is the difference in companionship.

I think your right as painful as it is to swallow but I don't think separation would work with me traveling all the time we already are pretty much separated. She only needs me for financial reasons

Yeah we both know it more expensive to separate usually. Let her have her space. You owe yourself a good time. Start hanging out with friends more. Transition into dating. Find a cheap studio, stay away. When she ask where you at. Say you been extraordinarily busy at work. You love and miss her. Let her want you to come home. Just remember not to stay idle and wait. Again go have friends, start dating cautiously.

Women reach emotional and sexual exile, quicker and easier than guys. As a guy I of course have opinion quite unfairly also. Where Mary Barbie was at. Is exactly where your wife is at, and feels.

It easy to say opposite sex more prone over the other. Honestly it the person. Guys and girls can both do wrong equally. I been cheated. Never been the cheater

"Also her not allowing you is a sign of guilt. She doesn't trust you cause she doesn't trust self. " --> I actually think it's more about gender stereotypes. The stereotype is that a man who goes to Vegas will end up doing stuff with strippers or prostitutes, but that women are more prudish and less horny, so they won't do that kind of thing. Could be right, could be wrong. It makes her a hypocrite, but it doesn't mean she's cheating.

What about the no contact?

Life is too short and I'm too much of a Romantic to tolerate this passionless marriage.
Sorry I know I'm rambling

Well she texted final said they were on there way home. She asked if I would throw her a life ring she knew I was mad. She told me that she asked her friends not to tag here because she didn't want work to see she was in Vegas when she's suppose to be home healing a injured knee. Said she didn't contact me feeling like a child not wanting to report in until the fun was over. We had a very long talk and she begged me not to give up on her. I know everyone's going to be disappointed but I gave in and she will soon be on her way here I hope you understand I love her and in my Irish Farm boy upbringing you never give up you never quit.
I thank you all for being here for me this is more therapeutic then I thought
Please feel free to add me I would like to return the favor

9 More Responses

You can message any of your wife's friends (even if she isn't YOUR Facebook friend) and ask why your wife isn't in any of the photos or tags.

I don't want to start any drama besides they would probably tag her then even if she's not there to cover her.

Me too:-(