I do not even know where to start, so at the beginning it is.
I have been dating this man for about a year and a half. I was married, and, well, that could not have been a more empty period of my life. We have so much in common and have a great time when we are together.
He currently is working out of state, and these days you have to take a job where you can get one. He is home every other weekend.
He has kids, great kids, and is a great dad! I, at times, want more of his time, but know that his kids need his time as well.
We met because we have kids that are friends. This, I suppose, is where the issue comes to light.
When we first "met" we were both married. His wife left him and their lives went seperate ways. I became friends with him as our kids got together when his kids were with him.
NOT a proud moment, but things between us started when I was still married. It was casual and nothing serious. One day I had enough of my ex-husbands verbal and emotional abuse and walked, never looking back at him.
The kids ajusted fairly well, their dad was almost never home anyways, and as time has gone on my friend and I have made a commitment of monogamy.
It has been a year and a half as things have progressed, and I do NOT want and I love you or a ring, what I do want is for him to be willing to come clean to his kids and allow me to come clean to mine that we are dating.
I lived a life for 10 years having to pretend someone that I was not and refuse to keep living that way now.
He seems consumed with what his ex wife will say to him about us dating, and a little, I think, about what his kids would say. I can say that I have no concern about what his ex wife thinks, she was remarried 6 months ago and is his ex. As far as his kids go, I do care, and think both his kids and my kids would be deeply hurt that we are lying to them. Afterall we teach our kids it is wrong to lie.
So, here is my question: Is it unreasonable to set a time limit with him for telling the kids otherwise he can find someone else?