Marriage

Hello all,

Im recently moved from NC where i grew up my whole life with my husband. I have no family here in TN I feel alone. During our marriage i have suffered abuse .being cheated on while my daughter was being born and on other occassions. Im very depressed because my husband wants me to be a swinger and have sex with others. He ignores me and never touches me , he comes home from work late as he is a nurse. i have three kids under the age of four whom I love dearly. Dan is alot older than me We Dont have sex when I ask for it he says he is not in the mood. well I smelled another woman on him ther other nite. IM so depressed I feel like im drowning he says if I leave he will kil me. im afraid but I love him. I just dont know what to do. i have never been through something like this. i think im very attractive he is average. im a good woman. He has been married four times including me and all of the other marriages has been the same thing. He does not care too much for my four year old special needs son who is by someone else. its like im living a nightmare. and im never going to wake up. My children are my life. we do eerything together. dan does not help at all. I never get a break or me time. but i really love being a mom. I have no friends here. I cant just go and do. I dont know what to do can someone help me. please tell me what u think or why he is doing this to me. If i swing with him he loves me to death if I dont do those things he wants no part of me. I want to live a  normal life Iwant to be loved. PLEASE is there any hope guys tel me what this means when a guy does this to his wife????
Kadance4you Kadance4you
22-25, F
6 Responses Jul 30, 2010

by the way from the pic i see you are very very beautiful

Wanted to add that I agree with above, contact all of his exes and see why this might have happened and how it was for them, wives, girlfriends, whatever, they will all have insight and can help you...they are exes for a reason...if it was meant to be they wouldn't be an ex. They can all be your support group too, you never know where you will find an ally.

WTF is wrong with him is more like it? Why on earth does he treat you like this?

thank you guys and IM proud to say that im in the works of moving back to NC however nothing is set in stone. I think its pretty much over and I accept that funny thing is this guy doesnt want me to leave..........awww i love you so much and cries.......WTF then why does he do these things.......is he seeing someone? mabe im just young and dumb and blind

get in contact with his ex's they can help you. ask them about how it was for them and followtakenhearts advice. get out now. if its killing you think of how it hurts your kids

It sounds like he is completly selfish, 100%. You need to take your kids and leave and never look back. He doesn't deserve custody of any kind. For you to be the younger one you sound alot more mature. Leave him to get AIDS or whatever else he can contract from his swinging. He loves you when you swing because he is getting what he wants. Put yourself and your kids first and leave him while you still can. If he threatens you call the police. You deserve better and so do your children. Once a cheater always a cheater. There are decent men out there but it doesn't sound like he is one of them. Its a shame that this happens to good women.