Love Is Blind

So,I cannot really say I've been in love and I'm still not completely sure what I feel right now is love, but for the past two years now I can't get this guy out of my head. I also a guy. I've never really liked anyone and can't seem to decide whether I'm bi or gay, however that is beside the point.
Sometimes I overthink things and psychoanalize myself and that I may like him because he remides me of my father and that I may have daddy issues, but my father does not really come to mind unless I'm thinking up reasons for me liking another guy. I was struggleing on whether I really liked this person or not. Any way I've come to the conclusion that I love him, there seems to be no other explanation for the way I act around him and my incredibly corny lovey dovey thoughts.
So I have become a relatively close friend of his. I have always been very sociable. We used to talk only about school related things like teachers and exams because I have always made it a point for people to know as little of me as possible because we used to move a lot. Now we talk a little more about other things and that for me is a huge progress. I don't know if I should confess my feelings because here is the catch he has a girlfriend.
He claims to love her but I once had a conversation with him and his exact words were that they still really like eachother. They always fight because she is an incredibly jealous person and he is hot headed and a bit lustful. He always talks about how hot girls are and wanting to sleep around and yet claims to want to be completely faithful. He is a ball of contradictions.
I have a friend how is almost sure he could be gay. I think it is overcompensation but I might be delusional because I want him to be gay so he'd end up with me.
Anyway he also has a best friend in class and people tease them for being really close. They are normal best friend close but there was once an awkward moment when I told them that people really did think they were gay. I tried to pass it off as a joke but I'm really bad at that kind of thing. Then there was a time I had a dream catcher and asked him to make me a yes or no question to answer it. He asked if he was gay.
Now back to my relationship with him. I have become kind of like his personal tutor every times exams come up we end up studying together. He also calls me when he need help with homework and projects  sometimes. He also drives me to my bus stop after school, I take two buses to get home and he saves me a trip.
He also use to have a habit of carrying me but has since stopped. I asked him about it once and he said he did because he thought I'd like it. I'm a pretty small for my age and quite childish aswell and did not really mind.I should clarify I'm 20 and he is 21 right now, this happened about a year ago. Also there was this one time I think he kissed the back of my neck after a hug. I should also clarify we live in Mexico and it is customary to hug male friends and kiss female friends on the cheek when greeting them. He also lingers sometimes when we hug and sometimes greets me more than once a day, which means more hugs. I also hug him a lot and he does not seem to mind.
Once he said he couldn't trust me becasue I mentioned something he said to a couple of friends of mine and then he said he was just kidding but that I should watch what I say to other people fromwhat we talks about. He told me that it was ok and then told me to hug him. I told him what he said made me feel bad, but I only told them becasue I wanted them to get along and he aplogized.
During my birthday this year he called just to say hi and to see how I was doing. It was weird becasue it seems he really did not remember my birthday and did not give me a proper congrats until a week later. He said he did have a nagging feeling he had forgot to do something during that whole week. He can be absent minded at times and seems to forget about me, which makes me think he doesn't really care, but I don't know it may just be me overthink it again.
Once again I do not trust my own mind because I want him to end up with me. I should also say he is a very touchy person with his other friends but he does not hug them as much as he hugs me.
So I was wondering what I shoud do? I came here because I think it is starting to affect me little by little and I do not want to burst unexpectedly
One note we nearing exams and I may have to spend time alone with him when studying soon.
Julkri Julkri
18-21, M
Dec 1, 2012