Is It Wrong To Feel Guilty And Should I Apologize?

A few years ago I was very very sick and in the hospital. This was the summer before my senior year in high school. Anyway, I had been seeing/dating this wonderful girl who I am still very affectionate for. I have lost nearly all memory of the time when I was sick, but from what I have been told I was acting very strange. (I had psychosis aka a loss of contact with reality). It first started showing up one night when we were watching Lord of the Rings and escalated from there. I only remember that night as if it was a dream.

I did a lot of strange things (from what I've been told by my family). I apparently tried to board a train she was taking to see her relatives in NY State and called/messaged her saying how I was coming, I actually believed I had a ticket. I have no doubt in my mind that she must have been scared or disturbed. I also do not know what else I could have done in that condition.

Anyway, after I had been in the hospital for a while the drugs they gave me to stop the psychosis gave me an allergic reaction that gave me a life-threatening disorder called Neuroleptic malignant syndrome (NMS). Thank god I'm alive! More on the point though, my Grandpa told me that he called her house trying to talk to her Dad and she answered the phone. He said she was crying because of me. I feel extremely guilty for making her cry as I care about her very deeply. Is it wrong to feel this way? I realize that it isn't my fault for being sick but at the same time I feel like some sort of monster for scaring her when I was delusional. I have never seen her upset or cry in my life, and I only want her to be happy. Should I apologize to her? If so, how should I go about it. I currently am a sophomore in college so it has been quite a while since the incident. What do you guys think?
TengwarJunkie TengwarJunkie
18-21, M
Dec 10, 2012