Destroyed Woman.

I wanna keep this short but any advice would be a blessing at this point in my life. I have been with my husband for over five years now. Married for 3 . We have one son together who is 4. I got sick after giving birth to him and my husband left. We were apart for 9 month and in that time he got a girl pregnant. We got back together and I forgave him. I can't have anymore children. So it was kinda a blessing forme this girl is giving my son a brother or sister iI couldent. Well 4 months into a new start he told me he doestn love me and. Only wants tto stay for our son. There is no one else he just doesn't love me. He is depressed and I'm guessing going threw a life crisis has 28 and stuck ina dead end job hewants to leave for aAlberta and I support that. While I stay home with our son. We are not living together yet or so haven't in almost a year. I love this man with all my heart. I knowit ssounds silly...but we have been threw so much and still haveaa lot going on. But at the end of the day I wanna be his everything and the pain I feel right now after everything is killing you think he will love me again? I know he's depressed.. and lost on life right now... I'm giving him space and all. Its so hard to word this. He told me that he don't love me and that love is noting and feelings he will never have again. That if I was a good mother I would stop being silly and pretend everything is fine for our son. ? He's so all over the place he says he hopes this other baby' dies. I hate him for that..this child did nothing and I'm more acepent to this child that's not mine. Is this normal? Do men gothrew this? Or is this a dead end love that iisn't there anymore?
hooley1988 hooley1988
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 15, 2013

p.s. The ONLY person or thing that can destroy you is YOU.

Wow hooley............this is quite a hard thing to be going through. Please accept my love, hugs and energy coming your way.

Only you can make the decisions for your life.........and knowing that 20 years down the road you will have to live with them.
So I would ask, what do you want your life to look feel like...........years in the future?

If I read your post correctly (which I may not have) this boy, the father of your child, is 28 years old.
If that is correct his age is about 20 years too soon for a mid-life crisis.

In your situation I would ask myself:
**Why would a loving husband /father leave me when I got sick just after I gave birth to his child?

**Why would this same man think it is acceptable to get another woman pregnate when we weren't divorced............or..........
*he was just having sex with any other woman? (he could wear condoms...negates pregnancey and disease transmission)

**Why would I think it is okay for a man to treat me in this way?

**What is my feeling about selfworth?

The only person we can really affect is ourself.

I have lived with the treatment of others when I felt little self worth...........
or........more specifically I didn't think I deserved or could do any better. For me, I had to dig deep within myself and my history and find where I decided I was of no value. Only then was I able to grow in myself and accept only respectful treatment.

I wish you the best hooley!
love, blessings, and healing to you