Advice From Adults Please

Ok, I met someone thru a penpal website. Please no judgeing. We email each other back and forth. We flirt non stop. But we are both marriaged. Neither one of us has said anything about what we are doing. We are both in different states. So, what do you think he wants? Just to flirt?
lisa00 lisa00
2 Responses Jan 30, 2013

Probably just innocent flirting yes, but I think that depends on how long this back-and-forth relationship has been going on. If it's been a while, and he's not making any suggestions about taking it further, i.e. meeting - then its just flirting. Continue to be careful about sharing too much. Internet Safety 101 applies to everyone, not just kids.

Full disclosure: I'm notorious at flirting with guys via email. To me, it's always just innocent fun. But sometimes it's not taken as that by the recipient. Ive been bitten a few times.

If he's much older than you, there is a very rational psychological reason for it. (not to spoil your fun with nerd talk...but!) Older people feel emboldened by the idea that a younger person would be interested in them. It gives them confidence that "they still got it" and can "swoon" when called upon. This is true for both woman and men. On the other end, the younger party feels special that an older, and more mature or experienced person would be interested in them.

However, you may be able to use this to your advantage. Clearly there is something attracting you both to each others -- words used, experiences, desires, etc. Maybe you can work together to shift those wants away from each other, and direct them to your own spouses instead...using each others experiences as feedback to what-worked and what didn't. Just a thought.

He simply kills time .. Long distance can be tuff. But dont listen to me cause I am just a kid