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Parents And Respect

I'm only 17 but I was googling for search results on "losing respect for parents" and then I stumbled upon this website. I feel that my parents don't behave like adults, or parents even. Yes I don't know anything about parenting but I completely disagree with my parents' approach to parenting. I find that I've lost respect for my parents over time, because they don't respect me. My father is very rude, and constantly tries to provoke him because he says "it's fun" for him. However when I say something back, or anything at all, he would say harsh things like "shut up" "get lost" "I'm going to break your face" of course these are just a few things. He has said far more hurtful things. I've told him that he's rude and I hate it because I feel disrespected as a woman, but he couldn't care less. As for my mother, she channels her stress on me. She's more harsh with the words she uses, she'd say things like, "why havent you done any work? who's balls were you holding?" and even more explicit stuff that make me cringe. We've never had a good relationship, she used to be abusive towards me when I was younger. I tell myself this only happened because she was going through depression. Over the years I've discovered that my parents aren't the perfect people I thought they were when I was seven. They have disappointed me repeatedly, and there's no love in this family. I feel obliged to respect and love my parents, because they brought me into this world. If I had a choice, and the required resources, I would leave in an instant. Daily this happens and I end up getting angry, hurt and frustrated. I just retreat to my room and cry. I have thought about self harm and suicide but thankfully I've never acted out on it. My parents have only given me material goods and have supported me financially but have never believed in me. They never appreciate anything I do, nor do they believe in me. Never have they been proud of anything that I have worked hard to accomplish. I have always felt pressured to make my parents proud, but they have never been proud of me. However things are different with my younger brother, They are gender biased, probably because we are from a traditional family, but they will never admit it. It sucks to be neglected and Sometimes I feel like the problem lies in me but I'm unsure. I think I may have lost all respect I have for my parents, but I feel guilty about it. I have thought about moving out, but where I live, because I am still young, it's not socially accepted. I feel like I've failed as a daughter and it's just my fault, but I'm not sure. I'm afraid that this is how things will be with my family because I find it really hard to tell myself to "suck it up" every single night and move on. thinking of people who have far more worse problems than me helps me stop feeling so bad about my situation but I don't want to pent up my frustrations, my parents are getting old and I'm growing older, I don't believe that my relationship with them will improve or change, but I do hope I manage to find the strength to keep going and that hopefully, one day I come to love my parents again.
sophiasree sophiasree 16-17, F 3 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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My dear girl. I'm so sorry for what is going on with you. It amazes me how you have such an intellectual way to acknowledge what is proper and what is out of place. Your parents are doing what they learn in a Patten. You are a different one. God has Bless you with a Great mind,soul and Protection. You have a plan in this life and is not looking around and blaming yourself, you are learning and have life a head. I pray to Jesus Christ to send more protection around you and none of the things around to hurt you but heal and be a great princesses who will be a queen one day and will teach her generations different. Break the cycle. And they will be a shame for what they cause in your heart. But they still your parents Love them and respect them no matter what they are humans and we all make mistakes. Remember honor mother and father Exodus 20:12 just do it and you will be good in your life. You will not stay a young girl forever you will grow and you will take this and help others. I wish I was there to give you and hug so you know you not alone but you never will be alone Jesus is with you. I'm speaking from experience trust our Lord. May God Bless you and Protect you always.

Hey sophie I know how you must be feeling thank the lord you are almost old enough to get yourself out of this sutuation soon, I wish I could say that things will get better but not if they aren't getting help or recognizing the problems they want.. just remember that people that say and do ugly things to hurt your feelings like that is their way of making themselves feel better they are really mad at themselves and feel horrible about themselves and they take it out on others and may even try to blame others, keep your head up and know that your not the problem just hold on and get through this stepping stone in life it will get better if that means you moving out asap after you graduate, try to focus on bettering yourself and preparing yourself for after graduation. A job and communtiy college or college and maybe renting a room by the week in someones house which will be much cheaper and if you don't have a vehicle stay near the bus route to get back and forth. I believe you could turn this around and you have to compliment yourself a lot doesn't seem like they are those type of people I have faith in you, it took a lot at your age to even write this just remember be strong and know your a wonderful person everything will get better in time..

Hang in there. We all go through it.