I Made A Mistake

I have been dating this girl for a long time and I am seriously in love with her. I have never had someone in my life that i feel so strongly about. I love everything about her and I couldn't bear to hurt her. She is still in highschool and I am in college and we don't see each other that often which makes us love and miss each other even more. last night, however, i made what i feel is the biggest mistake of my life. I cheated on her.

I went out and I dont normally drink that much, but i did this time. I drank entriely too much and found myself doing stupid wreckless things all night. At the end of the night this girl and i were waiting on a pizza i had ordered and most people were gone. My friends that were there kept egging us on to hookup and i knew i shouldnt and couldnt. We all ate pizza in her bedroom and then everyone left except me. That was my chance to get out and I should have. My "friends" really peer pressured me into staying saying that she was hot but i ouldnt get my girlfriend out of my head. I was so drunk and found myself saying stupid things and being a flirt anyway. It was like my brain and heart was telling me not too , but my mouth wasnt listening. Anyway I ended up sleeping in her bed which i didnt think was THAT big of a deal because i had no place to sleep. I planned to just stay in my side of the bed but we all know what happens when two drunk people get under the covers. We started to kiss and feel each other and in my mind i knew this was a horrible idea. We stopped and started off and on but never did any more than kissing. We were so exhausted and neither of us really wanted to be doing this, but why were we? Eventually i turned to the side and said i was going to sleep.

I woke up realizing how stupid i was. Why did i put everything on the line? I keep asking myself if i should tell my girlfriend but i know this will lead to a breakup, which i cant bare. I have never cheated on anyone before and i feel horrible! I know that being drunk is no excuse and i know i am a jerk, *******, and many more things for doing it. PLEASE understand that i love my girlfriend so much and i didnt want to do what i did. I think i could go without telling her, but it isnt the right thing to do. I have made the decision to stop drinking because all it ever leads to is trouble. I have prayed for forgiveness and I KNOW that it will never happen again. I just feel like because i havent seen her in so long maybe my hormones got the best of me. Please give me your thoughts! I am not looking for grief about what i did.. I am looking for advice . I know what i did was wrong. Very wrong. So do i live and learn and become a better man from it? or tell her at the risk of losing everything ?