Lately , I have been feeling really down. I feel like I am only good when someone needs something. It seems like most of my family and friends will only bother with me when they need something from me and then I never hear from them.
this summer ,I decided to reach out once to my circle. Make a plan to have people to my house, spend time with them and then leave things up to them to make a plan with me.
Most of them never bothered trying. In fact there are some people who never even so much as called me at all during the whole summer since I stopped putting fourth the effort I was doing before.
I only heard from some people when they needed my help or advice only.
I have a hard time with this because it really hurts. I know most of you would be thinking to tell me " you need new friends" I agree. But should I explain myself? I never say anything because I am always to shy to say what I really want to say but in turn that leaves me a big bottled up mess. Should I tell them how I feel or just move on?
doubletees doubletees
41-45, F
1 Response Aug 20, 2014

People when they reach our age are chasing dreams & they want to achieve things as fast as they can for themselves & for their loved ones.

Even when they meet you, they are somehow comparing their achievements with yours and they somehow get into a shell of competitiveness and then the comparison of their lives vis-a-vis yours begins.

The problem is, at our age we drag our competitive mind everywhere. Also in relationships which are close to our heart.

The competition is so fierce around us that even if we don't wish to compete, we are somehow forced to compete. Then also there is the ego which drifts us apart from people. Example - They did this to me and am going to do the same to them. Well what we forget is we two are different individuals with different personality traits but we still want to act like others and not be ourselves and what we are most comfortable doing.

Everyone talks about being different but they always act the same. Only the people who really act different succeed ...

Keep inviting your friends over if you wish to enjoy with them. If they are busy and don't come it's okay. Don't expect them to honor your invitations every time and similarly don't expect them to make efforts to stay in touch with you every time.

With your consistent efforts, people will realize what you have done differently to be with them. Right now they are too busy to realize this but in the long run you will reap rich benefits. And in any case I see it that your efforts are already giving you some results coz when they are stuck for advice they remember you which is a positive sign that they respect and value your inputs & your help and believe that you would always help them no matter what..

Treat it like an investment which will have no immediate returns or perhaps no returns at all but don't stop investing... the results are just round the corner.. maybe another 5 to 10 years that's all...

I wish you all the very best..