I was raised a Christian (Catholic) in a Christian area. Literally everyone here is a Christian, as far as I know, except for me. I don't believe the Bible anymore, and for about seven months, I've been lying about it to keep my parents from worrying, my friends from leaving me, and the public from hating me.. I got my Confirmation, as I had to, and I've just felt pretty bad ever since. I thought I'm doing the right thing by saving everyone all this time and emotional trouble over such a petty thing, but the people on this website all seem to agree that lying is always or is almost always wrong.

I'm not really sure what I should do here. This is the biggest moral dilemma I've ever had to deal with. I need help.
DarksBane DarksBane
18-21, M
9 Responses Aug 26, 2014

You have a bit of a tricky problem there Darksbane. I had a similar situation when I was a teenager and I ended up at odds with my father about it because he was a preacher in an evangelical church. I haven't seen him in about 22 yrs now because of that. I was physically baptised by being fully immersed in water at age 7. I have rejected all religion over the years but still wonder about the source of all things. I am uncertain of what advice to give except to say that I think you know as well as I do that in order to be yourself you will eventually need to reveal your thoughts to your parents. How and when you do this is your decision. Try to use a bit more etiquette than I did though. You write like someone who is quite a bit older than 13-15 yrs old Darksbane. I mentioned that already but I just wanted to say it again. Can I be a pain and ask again, is this your real age ?

Yes, it is. I was 14 when I wrote this and I am 15 today. Thanks for the advice. I'm having a little bit of trouble facing this truth; the idea of telling people sort of scares the heck out of me. Right now, I'm trying to change the Catholic church by rather insidious means, but when I am finished or my attempts reach a dead-end, I guess I've nothing better to do.

Well good luck with that man. The Catholic church seems to change itself and it's doctrines in order to survive when it sees the need. It gets no respect from me so if you are trying to change it by insidious means then go right ahead. :-) Lol. You clearly have an intelligent mind for a 15yr old. Good for you. Maybe you could use it to get your hands on all that gold the catholic church is sitting on.

This is a touchy subject, So my opinion is that what is it to them? i know lying thats bad and all but is it worth how the public and others would treat her? i mean its her choice what she wants to put her faith into many arent thatnice about it but they cant force you to believe in their "god." I'd say read which ever bible you think suits you or read all them see what you believe is true and whats bull. what ever speaks to you and says to you "this is you." i mean in christian Baptist they say that once we die we will have no memory of this life the people our lovers our family, so that we shall feel no pain shed no tears. but like i said which ever you think is true. Dont let people run you into one and stay that way. you dont just walk across a street without knowing which way cars are coming? so why hop on the bus with everyone if you dont wanna be on there?
anyway hope this helped,or at least made you smile with my analygie or fails at spelling that. message me anytime for help or to chat. :) enjoy life and choose your path, no one will choose it for you.

Look, I'm a Christian and I'm going to tell you the same thing my dad told me "I can't live to please everyone, not even them." A Bible is a contract... of sorts, and just like any other contract, if you don't agree with it, don't follow it. You have to live your own life, so if that means moving and making a new family somewhere else, better is a close friend than a distant relative. But choose what you want to be, and don't look back. It's the only to get far in life.

But I'm pretty iffy on Catholics myself, just my opinion. You shouldn't need another human being to confess your sins to. Especially when he messes up as well, and maybe even worse.

You're gonna have to make a decision. Yes lying is held up by a lot of folks to be bad- yet most folks would rather have a comforting lie, than a painful truth. Look at Climate Change.
If I were in your place- I'd wait until I was out and about on my own before admitting to a lack of belief. Because the Believers are capable of, and more than likely will make your life a living hell for 'not believing'. In Islam, an Apostate- is supposed to be killed.
Believers are scared spitless by those who 'fall away'. It's like you've contracted a fatal illness, and they're afraid they'll catch it if they spend too much time around you.
You'll find that many of us atheists are those who sought to find answers in our religion- and found religion to be wanting. Meaning that those who try to talk us back into the fold, will be exposed to many questions they've never encounter.
My father has disowned me for my lack of belief in his beliefs.

Don't allow people to control you. By you being concerned about what other ppl is going to think causes stress. Be you and stop caring. They are either going to love you for you if they truly love you.

I'm more so worried about them.

How are you worried about them? Why?

Don't be. Just be you. Do what YOU chose to do. If they judge you about it then you know what to do. CUT.

I don't understand What does CUT mean?

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I guess its a good thing you feel bad for lying. But this seem like a problem only you can solve. It's not like they can force you to be Christian, can they?

The people can pretty much destroy my life though. It is ALL of them.

How can they destroy your life?

Well, I can't live alone. I will always be surrounded by other people, which can't be pleasant if they're always hostile.

Can you meet some new people in your community that are not bible thumpers?

No. It's not a large community and everyone here is.

Is it some cult?

No, it is a rural/suburban town outside of a larger city.

Study very hard! Put in the hours! Work on getting a scholarship to a college/university located in a different area. You should experience life, and maybe you will find like minded people.

But like minded people where?

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You've got to decide which is worse: A lie that bring a smile or a truth that brings a tear. If you can't be the most you with your own family, then who?

You didnt clearly state your problem.. so what's your problem?? That you're lying to your parents.. that's a common thing nowadays.. I see that happening in our house all the time..

I am lying to everyone in my life.

Cool, me too (not being sarcastic).. I'm not really lying because I've done something.. My identity is a facade.. it's a big lie.. I've been trying to do that since I can remember.. and also I dont follow the bible.. but I still believe in God.. I still pray to him every night asking of what to do.. I mean he wont really answer.. but he actually answers we're just too blind to see it..

Yes, I am in basically the same situation as you then.

Not really, my family doesnt give a sh!t with what I'm doing.. They're just expecting a lot of things from me.. since I'm the "smart" one.. I'm also the scapegoat of the family.. i probably wont do what they're expecting.. I'll do it my own way

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Sorry you have to go through that. I haven't met a religious person face to face in over five years.