I need help "breaking up" with my room mate!

So I currently rent a room from one of my best friends. I moved in about a year and a half ago so I wouldn't have to live in the ghetto apartment complex I was living in and we hung out all the time anyway, so it made sense. She's been a decent roommate, as well as I. We've had little issues, but we've never fought or had huge issues.

I recently got a new job, making quite a bit more money. I also just turned 27 and feel it's time for me to have my own space. I've been planning on this for months now.

Here's the problem: she is losing her job within the next 6 months. This should give her time to figure out her financial plan without me living here. I mean, she bought this house long before I moved in. When I asked if she's made plans on what she's going to do to plan for her losing her job she said that since I live here she doesn't really have to make plans. I just don't find this fair, considering I didn't buy this house and I didn't make the mistakes to lose a job. I just feel stuck, and that her financial problems are depending on me.

Ideally, I'd like to move out soon since I found a house that I'm interested in. But I understand that maybe I should give notice. Right?!

I'm hoping for some advice and an outsiders opinion on this. She's one of my best friends and I don't want to change our friendship, but I'm afraid no matter how this plays out, her feelings will get hurt. I think in her mind, she planned on us living together until her or I got boyfriends and moved in/ married them. But I've been unhappy in my little room and just need my own space!

Thanks in advance for your kind suggestions!!
WednesdayAndI WednesdayAndI
26-30, F
2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

What I would do, if this were my best friend, I would tell her, right away, and try and figure out something together, that would make both of us happy. Maybe someone else can move in with her, to replace you? maybe you can help her out with finding someone else.
Maybe I'm just saying this cause I've been on the other side quite a few times... but what you're doing right now sounds mean... I had roommates drop on me with just a couple of weeks notice, and that really sucked and pretty much turned my life upside down.
Just tell her as soon as possible, say it how it is, what you just told us.

You always have to take care of yourself, and that's not being selfish. For her to smooch off you and say that she does not have to make plans becuase you're there, is way too careless. For example, you could lose your job, or could very ill to where you can't work for a long time. Or what if you die, God forbid? She's not thinking long-term and thoroughly about this.

If she won't do her part and be a responsible house owner, then what makes you think you deserve to go down with her, and put aside your plans and wishes for yourself?

Just tell her that some things have changed for you in life that now, you're led to another chapter in life. If she respects you, she will wish you luck.

I agree

Thank You :D