What Should I Do??

I'm really not sure what I want to do at this point my "boyfriend" of 3 years and my sons father has lied to me so many times that I cant remember I don't know if he has cheated on me or not but I really wouldn't be surprised at this point.  He doesn't work at all in the 3 years we have been together he has worked maybe 6 months and don't try to tell me the economy is crappy blah blah blah he hasn't even bothered to look for a job when I find something he might be interested in he says ok ill call them and never does this is really getting on my nerves especially seeing as all he does is play video games and give me lip when I ask him to change a diaper or do some dishes or run a load of clothes.  He has managed to let the electric bill get to $2000 when he is supposed to be in charge of paying it (he asked to be in charge of it) But when I ask him about it he says he doesn't have the money, this is after he has bought 6 new xbox360 games (though they were off eBay they still aren't cheap) and a bunch of other crap that we don't need.  He has told me that I cant talk to a couple of my friends because I should be associating with people like that but the only person I really want to talk to is a good person but he is mad because the person I want to talk to is someone that I was intimate with but we are still really good friends I go behind my boyfriends back and talk to this guy and I feel like what I am doing is wrong but I know its not because its not like I'm having sex with the guy but I know that he would flip out if he even knew that I was talking to him.  I have to beg him to let me go out with a bunch of my mommy friends because they took me out for me 21st birthday and of course I drank too much but he made me feel like the scum of the earth when I got home at like 1230.  I love him I really do (for some stupid reason)  I think I just want my son to have a father but I don't want him to look up to this immature jerk.  I want to kick his butt to the curb but in the same breath I don't want to, I really don't know what the heck to do and some input from someone other than my mother would be greatly appreciated!

Hurt247 Hurt247
22-25, F
5 Responses Mar 14, 2009

OMG evania hit the nail on the head. Life is too short to be this miserable <br />
1. No matter how much time you have invested, there is so much more time to be happy.<br />
2. Even though he is your childrens father, this is not good for them. What type of roll model is he for them? You don't want another women to go through what you are. Children learn by example not by talking. If you don't change things for you ... change for them. THEY deserve better.

Well, first off I know where your coming from. My husband is kinda the same way. We have been married for four years. We have seperated a lot, and have been together straight now for a year. Well, long story short, I am the one who always works, and It's a pain in the *** most of the time. He always plays ps3 when he is awake, i bought it for him. Neither one of us work right now because of the economy, but If the econmy was better I would still be the only one working. I know you love this man, just as I love my husband. Does he atleast watch your son while you work? If he doesn't, he needs to. And, he has to help out around the house, There is no excuse for that. And, since he doesn't do anything, he has NO right to tell you what to do, and not let you hang out with your friends. I have no friends, so be glad you do and, don't lose them because of this man. Is he a good dad, besides being lazy? If not, then get rid of him.

What we think is Love is often nothing more than lust in disguise...sounds like you have given this guy every opportunity to grow up and be a man...he just isn't up for it right now....perhaps it is time to move on.... or at least stop depending on him and letting him make decisions for you...easy enough to say, I know....but, I can tell you that I have been there...it is possible to get out...it is possible to stop settling for not good enough...peace...SS

Sadly, you love a bum.Save youself from him bringing you and your household down. Children deserve better then what he gives and provides Nothing. He's doing it because he can. You allow this behavior! He doesn't pay bills when he has money. So why is he in charge of paying? He wanted to be in charge to spend it on his toys! He disrespects you and knows you are an easy target, to be used. Get out of it. He will go to another woman who will let him be a bum again.He's a waste product and a selfish person. Your son could have more too.Think about what is important..you already DO know. Good luck, be wise please.

Wow. Do you want me to talk to you like I would if you were, say, my niece? <br />
My first reaction is to be polite to you, tell you that you're the stupidest thing ever but in a polite way so that you don't hate me, or so I don't hurt your feelings. But there is NOTHING I could say to you, even the harshest thing, that would hurt you no where near what you are hurting YOURSELF. Something's GOT to be wrong with you to disrespect yourself to this despicable level. What do you think of yourself honey? That you are scum or something? Because that's how you are behaving, and until he actually hurts your physically (don't tell me, he has already?), you'll be forced literally, by police, to leave this amoeba (sp?), he is a parasite with the pardon of the parasites. And you? Something fundamentally wrong with your picture of yourself worth. You are a precious human being and a Mommy. But I can not convince you that "you deserve better", because you don't, until you ACT DIFFERENTLY. So, start acting like a woman of value, not like a stupid needy girl. I assume you have a job and you're responsible for the expenses. <br />
Well, I won't say more. Tell me if you want me to tell you more of what I believe you should do to do yourself the favors you need. I'd be happy to, but not if it'll go in one ear and out the other. You will suffer if you do that, and your kids. This jerk won't. He's a baboon, he doesn't care if you support him or another stupid girl like you. Don't be stupid anymore. Honey, don't. You have potential for greatness. Open your eyes. <br />
Hugs,<br />