Some Romantic Advice Wouldnt Hurt Me

       Okay, I have this ex named melissa who has just started talking to me about a month ago after a year of no contact and when we broke up It completely messed my world up.. I was prepared to die for this girl and do everything in my power just to put a smile on her face..she was my first love and I had it that bad for her.. we broke up in august 2007 and I slowly (emphasis on "slowly") kinda got over her but I always had feelings for her to this very day. 

       Needless to say I was ecstatic when she got back in contact with me even though I was 99% sure I had no shot in hell at gettin back with her because of how we ended, how I acted and she was currently in a relationship.  Well, about a week ago she told me that he wanted to marry and settle down with her but she broke it off with him because she wasnt ready (I'm 20, she's 22 and the other guy is 26 if it matters) and I kinda get the feeling that she's giving me subtle hints that she wants to get closer to me and kinda sayin "hey now.. I'm single and I want you to hit on me and catch up on old times but dont be a clingy SOB like you use to be *wink wink*"

       That gets me to my next question.. how do I express that I still have feelings for her, ask her out on a date and show her that I have interest in maybe seein what happens between us if she felt the same way.. without sounding creepy and desperate (the old me)  I wanna show her that I've changed alot for the better in the year and a half we've been seperated.  I also dont wanna try and move in on her after she just ended a relationship with another guy cause that would make me seem like an insensitive *****.. lol, as you can tell I'm very unsure on how to come across in the right way and I need some dire help with this.  Thanks for reading this far EP community

classof2007 classof2007
4 Responses Mar 22, 2009

Yeah, I can see how I am bein the rebound guy if I come back into her life like that again, I'm definitely not gonna be a pushover like I use to be. I'm gonna play the friend role for awhile and see how things go. Thanks everyone for the input

i agree with single and 35, you should not be the "rebound guy." As far letting her know your true feelings, she knows that you still want something with her. Why else would she come back. You were the backup guy, but make an effort to be the front man by showing that you changed. Don't tell her what things you done, but show her. Actions are often great to see, and then when the right time comes and you know she's over the other guy, tell her or she might even pick you up. But hang out, be friends, go see a movie. Don't be desperate but be a gentlemen.

Thanks for your thoughts on this, I really appreciate it. I definitely dont wanna be the rebound guy cause I've never felt like this way about any other girl before.. I mean.. It sounds corny as hell but I still get butterflies from hell when I just think about her lol. I'll try and be friends with her first and see where that gets me

If you want to be the 'rebound guy' - then ask her out to a movie (or whatnot) and let your feelings be known. Just know that 'rebound guys' do not usually last long term.<br />
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If you want it to last - hold off on letting your feelings be known and just be a good friend for her. Once you get reaquainted then you both will know if you are compatible.<br />
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I believe that long term relationships are built on a friends first basis, and I think it would be best for you both to be friends first. :-)