I Really Need Help.. I Need Help With Dealing With Something I Didnt Even Do But Am Totally Part Of.

  Please help me, I don't KNOW anyone in this situation, its horrible.

I live in a foreign country  and the only family i have here is mine and my cousins.  My uncle and aunt never treated my mom nicely, interrupting, and always disagreeing with her.  They are nice to my father and me, but hate my sister and my mom.  I always felt horrible for it but we dealed with it, it was never too bad.  But a while ago they had a huge fight, and i only know found out what my uncle said to my mom.  He said " I have no feelings concerning you.  I don't even think of you as a human-being".  He said this in front of my father, and my dad DIDNT STAND UP FOR HER!  I know no ones perfect, but hell if he cant stand up for the woman he loves then how the **** does he think he can do that to me.  I'm a girl, but he is the guy I always looked up to.  You know the rock of the family.  But what  I realize now is that since we came into this country my mom has been alone since shes foreign and since the only family we have here is messed up.  But the thing is that, EVERYBODY always loved my mom, I mean always!  I know she's my mother but she really is the nicest person in the world, **** she doesn't even kill bugs and just lets them eat her amazing flowers.  I seriously don't know what to do.  I found out about this through my sister, and my mom asked her no to tell anyone.  AND since it happened a while ago I don't want to bring it up.  Please, help me, I never cry but the freaking tears won't stop.  I never knew how cruel people can be, its so disgusting to me.  I want my uncle to just die, but then i know that I shouldn't wish him that because then I will be as low as him.  And my dad? How am I ever spouse to look in his eyes?   

difficultlife difficultlife
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 13, 2010

I would sit down with your Dad and have a talk with him. He doesn't have to know where you heard the story from. Just tell him how you have always looked up to him and how you have always thought of him as the rock of the family. Then tell him how shocked you are to find out that he didn't even stick up for his own wife, your Mom. Tell him you feel hurt because he is always suppose to stand up and protect his family. Tell him the empathy you feel for your Mom and how alone she is in another country where she needs her husband to be there for her.<br />
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If you don't want to do that, you can always take your Mom out for the day. Maybe she will find new friends while she is out. She might need somebody else her age she can talk to about everything. I know it might be hard since you're in another country, but its worth a shot.<br />
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I hope this helps.

Thank you.

It's hard to understand why people do the things they do because, most of the time, you don't know the whole story. Even then, it's still difficult.<br />
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I would suggest you tell your mother that you love her and tell her why. You should forgive your father, although it might help to sit down with him and tell him how you feel about what happened. It also wouldn't hurt to forgive your uncle. It sounds like he just lost his temper. Forgiving him, though, doesn't mean you approve of what he did.<br />
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People are often cruel to one another, sometimes horribly so, and it doesn't get better just because those people are related. You should seize the ethical high ground, when it comes to your own behavior and how you treat others, thereby offering your life as an example for others.