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Passive-aggressive Husband = Lonely Wife

Hello - I've been scouring the internet for hours, wishing I could find someone, somewhere to talk to who would understand.   My husband is normally very kind & considerate, but he can turn on a dime, becoming brooding, sullen, withdrawn, etc.  He used to love to touch me & was receptive to my touch.  That all stopped a couple of years ago.  He won't talk about it & dismisses my concerns by saying things like, "What, I kiss you goodbye every morning!"  He's a master at getting me to feel like all our problems are MY fault.  Anyway, I'm so very, very lonesome & it breaks my heart to know that a man I'm very attracted too is sleeping in the next room but if I crawl in bed with him & try to hold him, he'll turn his back, saying nothing.  Thanks for "listening."
DejaVuZoo DejaVuZoo 51-55, F 6 Responses Jul 23, 2011

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There's a great book called The 5 love languages written by Gary chapman, quit often your man or women may feel his loving you because his form of language is 'gifts' and 'tasks'. His form of expression, but you might need 'touch' and/or 'words of affirmation. The Book says we tend to express love to our partner the way we like it done for ourselves but not necessarily a good way.

Never give the positive side of marriage on top all he does is swears and scream , shout me on any topic he can find. I don't have. Any guts to tell him that's it I want to end this relation just to scare him so he comes on right path, :( awaiting suggestions:(

Hello everyone I am in same situation, my hubby is very kind he gives me all facilities except his time,love and respect. I feel so alone horrible and helpless can't think of doing anything coz I got three young kids :( we are just leaving a formal life when I morn the excuse is stress coz he is sole earner of house so gets stressful sometimes I understand that but one meant to be together in tough times not apart. Feel like giving my life up. Lost my father four months back but didn't even had hug from him and no time with him either :( god knows who can help!

Tell me about it. I was in an accident i June and my PA husband took two months off to "take care of me.". He has spent almost the entire time at his computer. He hasn't helped me bathe, because "you don't smell that bad.". He gives me stale bread, spoiled food, etc. Yet he claims that he stays with me because, "you need someone to take care of you.". I am very close to killing myself.

OMG , I too am unfortunate enough to be married to a PA man, I have multiple sclerosis and was paralyzed from the neck down for a time, to the outside he looked like the good guy, truth was the same, he slept, went on computer, would get angry if I needed something, even left me alone or 7 hours got pissed when I said I was scared. The nightmare continues

Leave him....I am in the same situation, I will have to end this to survive otherwise I will die living in this hell much longer.

Reply by frustratedwife116 Aug 4th, 2011 at 11:04AM

I can relate totally. Living with a PA husband is torture. I'm not sure I can hang in anymore. It's been 4 years and I am physically and mentally exhausted. So sorry for your situation. Save Cancel

I can relate totally. Living with a PA husband is torture. I'm not sure I can hang in anymore. It's been 4 years and I am physically and mentally exhausted. So sorry for your situation

my situation is different but with the same result. i'm doing without. best wishes.

I can relate totally. Living with a PA husband is torture. I'm not sure I can hang in anymore. It's been 4 years and I am physically and mentally exhausted. So sorry for your situation.