The Impulse To Get Up And Go

hits me like clockwork after one year of anything.
I'm doing a job I love, living in an apartment on my own with an adored pet, financially independent, surrounded by good friends, close to my family...and yet, something just isn't right.
At least, I convince myself it's not. Maybe it's just because I've moved every year of my life except this year, and the same stability almost everyone else seems to crave totally freaks me out.
I lie awake at night and plan out my "escape" from a life that's treating me damned well and I know it. I search for a new apartment, a new job, a new city, all only in the abstract, all the while knowing perfectly well that the situation I'm in is practically ideal in many ways. I'm not going to up and quit the job or anything completely stupid, but still...
It's like having chicken pox - you know you can't scratch the itch, but it's almost intolerable not to. I think my childhood of moving around constantly conditioned me to feel like I NEED a new start constantly, but I know I'm lucky to have finally "grown roots" where I am and I don't want to screw up a good situation by starting over on impulse.
I feel totally selfish. There are so many people who desperately want a job, any job, or who can't afford their own apartments. So many people with serious responsibilities they CAN'T escape (kids, debt, etc., etc.). I know my "need" for change is ridiculous in this context. All the same, I feel like I'm going to go absolutely insane if I don't change something major in my life. 
This is maddening!
citystargazer citystargazer
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 17, 2010

Good perspective. Thanks. Easier said than done...but worth the effort.

Try and find the constants that were in your childhood that didn't change and meant the most to you. Try and use them as the bicks for the foundation of your life. What didn't you like and find out why and find out why you need to run from it in the form of a "new start".