Want This To Go Right

So...we're not actually dating, but then again...we have been texting (almost) daily for a couple weeks now...and we are both single. And he has invited me over several times and over to his friends' while he was drinking and hanging out...but the sad part is that I live so far away that is hard for me to just hang out with him whenever. I went over to his house twice so far, and those were both a couple weeks ago...and it was both times just me and him...the second time was really brief though. Nothing much happened except that I was really giggly the second time cuz it was night and I was at his place alone, and I think he was burning an aphrodisiac candle...and I was just really horny...but he had to go somewhere so nothing really happened.

Right now, I am pretty sure he knows I like him...I told him (via text) a couple days ago that my mind is usually "in the gutter" after he commented about something I said sounding "provocative". He said "oh, trust me I know"...and then I said "no you didn't!"...and then he said "I do now!" lol...and then he said "prove it"...but I was like "ummm, what? prove that my mind is in the gutter??" and then he went back and said that it was the drugs he's been taking (he's been sick too) making him say things. So I think, no...I'm pretty sure...that he wouldn't turn me down if I asked to **** him (though I don't want to just be weird and horny about it...I want it to be romantic and special...if possible).

We have both been really busy with finals since then (me, mostly busy procrastinating like right now)...and haven't seen each other in person in like a week...though I talked on the phone with him so that he could help me figure out how to transfer pics from my phone to my computer today (first actual phone call we have had)...oh, and he commented on the phone "how can you be so smart and yet know so little about technology?" :D made me smile, cuz I am glad that he thinks I am smart (and likes me even then!)

And, so...Thursday we have our last class together of the semester and we will no doubt have very little time to talk as we will be taking our final in there that day. 

I don't really know what I am worried about, I guess that maybe things are going too slow...that maybe the distance and overprotective grandparents are a problem...or the biggie...that I am very inexperienced and don't know how to go about getting what I want and at the same time making him LOVE it and want more.

Though, him texting me and asking me to come over is a good sign I think.
shannonymous shannonymous
18-21, F
7 Responses Dec 11, 2012

Why do we assume men always have to make the first move? And why do you say that you're "pretty sure...that he wouldn't turn me down if I asked to **** him"? How about the middle ground, my love? Kiss him. That's pretty romantic and special and leaves him in no doubt that you're interested. I agree with folks who say take it slow. But there's no harm in a little liplock to get the ball rolling and give him a break from the pressure of being the initiator.

So many men I know are afraid of rejection from their own wives or girlfriends in bed. It's possible this fellow is afraid you are going to back off and leave him feeling foolish if he makes a move. That text exchange the two of you had reminds me of one my son shared with me between him and a girl. He didn't know how to respond to her. Flirting is an art, even between long time lovers and the possibility of misunderstandings loom large. A kiss is a pretty definitive statement. Take the risk; the reward could be grand.

Good luck. xo

:) i think this is sound advice i should have had earlier lol

Whoops. Why? What happened? Am I too late to the party?

lol s'ok i just think i prolly could have used this when the relationship was just starting

Like a previous commenter, the best thing to do is simply breathe. Whether or not things go right, you'll learn from the experience. And you'll be a better person down the road, whether it's for him (if you're still together) or someone new, or family/friends, and for yourself.

And hey, horny and weird can work! My boyfriend and I are proof of it! :D

:) k, advice noted

You are young and have time on your side. Time to take chances, time to learn from mistakes but hopefully revel in your achievements. Most of all remember to BREATHE.

"time to learn from mistakes"...um, thing is...I'd rather not have this turn into a "mistake" that I have to learn from, that's the reason behind the title of this story.

No one wants to make mistakes but you need to be wise enough to know when mistakes are made you do not use it as an excuse for next time.

lol k

Don't listen to Kt she knows a lot about confident studs, but when it comes to shy romances she hasn't a clue. Just play it out. Don't rush it, just keep talking and getting comfortable with one another. Let it play out naturally one way or the other. You are doing good though so far.

:) k

Hey don't underestimate the value of "weird and horny".

lol :)

You need to get a life....

So many things to say here Shan .. and not sure I should say any of them ... just let things progress at their own pace, take it as it comes and don't try and rush it!! Sometimes the slower pace lets you see and enjoy details that you would have missed if things had been moving along quicker! Good Luck :)

thank you for the advice! I think you are right...I should not rush things I guess...just let what happens happen...and forget about my ***** nagging me all the time lol