Always Wanting More.....

i feel pathetic at the fact that im almost constantly craving emotional affection from my spouse...i want to hear " I love you" countless times a day, I want to be told im beautiful, amazing, smart and "the one" for him on a daily basis but obviously that's absurd..i guess im too needy...and eventually that pushes people i keep my mouth shut and hold my breath until the next time he utters sweet nothings into my ear...i just wish i wasn't always craving that attention and affection..why cant i just let things be?? :-(
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8 Responses Oct 20, 2010

I don't think you are too needy. I need those things myself.

I see you haven't been around for awhil 4give...but i definetly relate to you. I'm the same way...needy, i've even been called 'high maintenance'....ha ha but that's ok...there's always someone around who will give 'us' what we need!<br />
My best to you!!!

True, men need the small gestures as well, libraPR. A kiss, a cuddle, a hug. And maybe not all of us say those things. I dont all the time but I do write them as poems.

@llibrapr, It can be equally hard to find that kind of woman. Man or woman, we all want to feel we are wanted, needed, desired, loved. There is, of course, individual difference -- some people need it more than others. Men want and need this too -- some more than others.<br />
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One unfortunate thing I've observed, though, is that people try to satisfy in others the needs they have in themselves. For example, I used always be holding my wife, touching her, kissing her -- because that is what I wanted and I thought it was a natural ex<x>pression of love. To her it was simply annoying, smothering. So her need for space and separateness wasn't met, and my need for connection, for reassurance wasn't met.

I echo all the other's comments, 4give. Most people desire it and most people have some level of insecurity when they start out, especially if they have been unlucky before. Just show him how much you enjoy it when he does give you that reassurance and hopefully, he will understand.

4give,<br />
It isn't stupid... or if it is stupid, I'm the same way.. this insatiable need to be desired.<br />
Sometimes I think it is the situation with my wife, other times I think that it is me, that this void cannot be filled.<br />
As bad as it is, you're lucky to have a spouse that gives you that reassurance sometimes.

Who isnt? But if you try to hold onto him so tightly, he will start feeling smothered. Is there any reason that you feel so afraid?

In the context of both your stories, could it be because you feel perpetually afraid of losing him?