Lacking Emotional Intimacy


   In all the 30 years of our marriage, we have not been close emotionally.  I knew for many years that there was something missing in our marriage, but could never put my finger on what exactly it was until I began reading a book Getting The Love You Want.  My marriage was more like an invisible divorce, because we were not spending quality time together.  In the last 7 years my husbands spends more time on our home computer playing games. And then he bought me my own laptop so now neither one of us spend anytime together.  I think that the only time we do is when we have dinner, but then the television is always on. 

    When we first married I had imagined us spending our evening together, but for awhile we did spend some quality time together, but it was only after we began having sex.  It was on every weekend and fantastic, but once we moved to a new city things slowly started to change we began having less sex.  And of course the emotional intimacy was not there anymore. That's when I began seeing a therapist to talk about my marriage.  And years later, my husband agree to join me, but he didn't feel comfortable sharing his feelings with a therapist.  And then years later we tried again, realized that our marriage is more of a parent/child.  So from the moment on things have really changed.  We began talking and things have gotten a little better, but still not quite what I was hoping for.  I don't have a husband who shares with me about his most inner feelings and thoughts.  Instead he spends all of his spare time on the inter-net.       

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3 Responses Mar 14, 2010

hey no one can help u ..........u can only help ur self ...i m in the same condition in which u are ...n now i have no complains no expections because i stopped having any desires frm my husband ......i live for my baby now n thts it ..............n i ll live with that vary uncompleteness through out my life

I am in a similar boat. I started an online affair, happened by accident, but has made such a nice supplement to my life.

i'm really sorry to hear that<br />
<br />
u have to start changing things inside u<br />
<br />
your thoughts.....your feelings .....<br />
<br />
then, your habits....your style<br />
<br />
don't say i cant change<br />
don't say i have a problem that can't be solve<br />
<br />
talk to each other openly<br />
and don't forget to share your partner things he likes