Just Want To Talk Please Read And Give Me Your Advice

well urm this is hard for me because i never really talk to people about how im feeling and that but i gess that is the main rason why in writing it on hear so that i can get some advice from some people. Im a 20 year old guy from the uk when i was 17 I can into a fair bit of money. i already smoked a fair bit (weed), so i started smoking more because i had the money I have always had alot of friends. and i was having the time of my life for a year, I then met these two people who both became my very good freinds, and i started doing hard drugs with them, a first i didnt tell them about the money that i had stached away but after knowing them for about a year, i told them about my savings, we then all moved in together their were 4 of us in a house and we were always having a good time,drinking, partying ETC. when we first moved in I had a good steady job that ment I could pay the rent, and be able to smoke and do other drugs, but i started too lend one of my freinds money. Because he was unemployed it soon started too get out of control because i did live with a drug dealer who sold me MDMA(pure X) at a discount a weed as well and I ended up buy it for me and him most of the time i would just buy for him coz i thought he would want some and he was good at payin me back at the time. But i then lost my job and was using the money that i had inherited to pay the rent beacuse i was in charge if it and the other guys had to give me the money. By then i had devoloped a bit a of a bad coke habit and was still smoking and taking MDMA, I had also started drinking a bit more. I did'nt tell the other guys that i had lost my job coz i thought i would just get one soon enough and i supporting myself ok. But soon enought my other freind who i had been lending the money to racked up a large debt with me (£2,000). I went on looking for a job and taking the drugs, and before i knew it i was out of money. I WAS ****** i could not pay the rent i told my freinds that my job was not paying me ( i had been out of a job for around 7 months now and was too emmbarrsed to tell them). Then I ended raking up a debt with my freind who was the drug dealer and he had a MASSIVE argument with the friend who owed me money over a girl and moved out. I had not payed the rent for 2 months now but we were a the end of the tenancy agreement so the land lord just told me to pay up at the end of the tenancy. My other freind who owed me money could not pay me anything because he still had no job. I had my other house mate who delt drugs telling me he was going to break my legs if i didnt give him his £3,000. I didnt know what too do so i talked to my dad and he payed him off for me but i had too move back home because the drugs were a real problem at that point. I then started to ask my other so called freind whae i could get that £2,000 back he kept saying he would and about 3 months ago he rang me saying he cant pay me back. He just dissappered as well moved out of town. So its been about a year since it all happned and im finding really hard to make freinds. im living with my gran and i get bored shitless and very depressed beacsue i have no job beacsue it is hard to get one i just want some ppl to chat to bacuse i find it hard too trust anyone after what happend i have one or two freinds left but they all live 100 miles away and i have no car, I am off the drugs now btw. i feel so fuckked about what the drugs did too me just need a freindly party to chat too HELP ME PLEASE MANY THANKS

AlexUK23 AlexUK23
18-21, M
5 Responses Dec 29, 2011

You took a downward path and continued to spiral down until you made the right choice in life, you chose to stop doing drugs because it was going to benefit you in the end. Most people would've gave up if they were in your shoes. But you shoved on and kicked drugs in the *** and told it you didn't need or want it anymore, you have a brighter future because of your resolve. I wish you the best of luck and blessing from now on!

Hope you're now feelin better. There are instances in our lives that we met the right friends and not the right ones. I guess at that point, you've met the wrong ones. We are surrounded of people trying to be nice just to get something from us but after getting what they want and what they need, they all turn their backs on us. I can be a friend, though miles away, but I can assure you, you can trust me! Wish you the best man!

I can relate to a lot of what you are saying and first off forget all the money **** my friend, the main thing is your here to tell the tale, we all *** ups now n then, you are unfortunate to be looking for work in these shite times but it will happen, keep focused on what you want and it will come.. good luck dude.

Thanks man

I know it’s hard to believe but at twenty you have all your best years yet to come. Well done on quitting drugs. This shows you are a strong person. My best advice would be to try really hard to find some kind of work or education to occupy your days. You local job centre probably doesn't have any vacancies but they will have training opportunities for people under 25. You might need to pester the job centre staff for a few weeks but in my experience they always have something available. Even if its on voluntary work for a while it can help you begin to rebuild your self esteem. It will also combat your boredom and help you meet new people. Hope things get easier for you soon.

hey it's a good thing that not into drugs anymore, it will always get you in trouble.. it's really hard to find true friends.. but i hope you could meet somebody who could be with you though ups and downs.. :)