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I Can't Make Or Keep Friends

I am in second year college. I live by the college now so I hoped that would improve my social life.
It is probably relevant to mention that in the last two years i've had very bad anxiety and i developed depression a few months ago.

I involved in about 5 clubs/organisations/groups/societies, where i meet and associate with people frequently. I do a lot of extra curricular stuff so i have stuff in common with almost everyone.

But I come away from everything with no friends. The only person who I ever felt liked me was my ex boyfriend. We were so so alike. I am 19, he was 27. We had so much in common.

The hard part is i've always had friends. "true" friends maybe not, but convenient friends to socialize with.

I was bullied between the ages of 7 and 12.

When me and my boyfriend ended our two year relationship due to age reasons i had absolutely no one. Not once did I turn down friends for him, nor did he. We didn't hold eachother back from mates ever.

I get on unbelievably well with lads. Generally a few years older. But I can't talk to them about my problems like I would to a girl.

I can't fully be myself with people.

Im nice, I listen, I try to be interesting, i take care of myself and have a good apearance.

I am so so desperate. Being a loner is the worst feeling in the whole world.

Has anyone any advice...

If you were to look at my facebook you would think, yeah she's travelled , goes out, has loooooads of mates.

Well no,. I dont

The worst part is, i think ive gone thru a spell of being hostile,defensive towards people and pushed them away. Now no one has an interest. I need help so badly

I think if anythin I could be picky when it comes to friends. but i cant be because thats not right

I miss laughing so much
feelinglost121112 feelinglost121112 18-21 3 Responses Nov 12, 2012

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it has been hard for me too. i know what it is like to have problems trusting people. a lot of my "friends" on facebook seem to avoid me. It is hard to remain upbeat or like myself when i feel like others don't. i would like to be your friend!

Hey. Lets talk. You can message me if you want :)

Ok so i'll get this out the way 1st of all I'm not a girl. But if you just want someone to chat random things too and help get things out your head message me. Can't promise I'll be punctual with replying ( I'm useless like that most the time just sent a text reply to a friend I meant to 3 weeks ago ) but i will reply. Can't promise to make you laugh but I'll give it a dam good try. ;) ( as long as really poor cheesy humour makes you laugh if not u never know you may just giggle at one thing then that has to be a result )