Bad Friendships

I have had my share of bad friendships. I had friends in school but only a few that i was actually friends with and we did stuff together. Now that I'm older I only have really one friend and she was one of my friends from high school. My bff in HS is now in another state and we very rarely talk. I do have another friend from church but she is a really busy person so it's not like we get to do stuff. I had one friend of 18 years but the friendship was always full of turmoil she was one of those ppl who always acted like life was perfect and she always had to be one step ahead of me for example she got preggo before me and got her house before me and never missed the opportunity to rub it in my face looking back i don't know why i stayed her friend for so long. I had another friend but she was always a mess and her life was FULL of drama always and she brought me into it often. One day i decided to purge myself of both of these women because if this is what friends do I'd rater not have any. Honestly i could write a whole book of the drama the second friend got me in don't get me wrong she never tried to hurt me intentionally but she was hurting herself and i just couldn't watch anymore. So now I have one friend and we have gotten closer so I'm glad for that but still i need more than one friend!

Luvmygirls81 Luvmygirls81
26-30, F
2 Responses Mar 3, 2010

I understand your situation completely. I have one friend-my best friend-many miles away. We dont get to talk like we use to. We rarely call, just emails. We still understand each other fully but with the distance, and her busy job, and both being married...its just she doesn't really have the time. I have the time but no friends. Like you , I use to have "friends". They were very toxic, and recently I purged them from my life. It was a good thing to do, but the way it happened was very hard on me. They were so meanspirited and all they did was talk about each other and put down each other behind thier back. I didnt get it. How could you call yourself a friend and talk that way about someone? They lived to bring each other down instead of building each other up and encouraging each other. It got tiring. They acted like high school girls even though we are almost 30. I never really felt like I could count on them or talk to them about anything real. I too could write volumes about the drama they were in/caused. So while I am happy to be free of that, I am very alone. I just want a real friend or two. I can be a great friend. I can be supportive and loyal, but how do you make friends at this age? It feels like everyone is already settled in life, and I find it hard to connect.

i have zero + no one friend would make me happier than ever