My ex fiancé and I had been together for years prior to the break up which was initiated by her. I had my own insecurities while dating her and I took out my issues on her. We spent a lot of time apart because she is a Navy Sailor and I am working on a Law degree. During the relationship she was in bootcamp, A school, and two deployments. I was simply at school and working which limited my time with her when she was home. Nevertheless when we were together it was all about the other person. We were so in love that despite our issues, she proposed to me. She was certain of what she wanted and as unconventional as it was, we got engaged. Like I said earlier, I had issues. I didn't trust her as much as I should have because of some information I found out. I was passive aggressive during the relationship. In all circumstances, I was an ******* and didn't deserve her. She broke up with me about ten months ago and since then, I have not been able to forget about her or move on. I have tried to seek help from counselors, writing in journals, speaking with friends, attempting to date, asking her to forgive me, changing my personality and traits, I have even attempted to return items from the relationship. Bottom line no matter what I did, nothing helped. I love this woman and she is my one true love. I can not move on from her and the relationship. My heart wants to fix what went wrong between us and I have attempted to turn to my faith to help in this matter. On daily basis I have reminders that are brought to me from the universe that cause me to think about her. Not that I need signs to think about Carla. I think about her regardless. I have attempted to reach out to her and she chooses when and if to respond to me. I am so confused what to do. I desperately want a reconciliation and want a chance to prove to her that I love her and have learned how to treat and show her my love. How to I survive this? What should I do?
26-30, F
Aug 18, 2014