I Can't Make The Decision...

. It's a decision that should have been made ages ago, and now that i'm in a place where my options are open, I can't. I need a change, it's obvious. I've suffered from depression for a few years now, and it's killing me. I want to leave my hometown so bad, it's so small, and there's not much here for me. I have the option right now, to move across country in April for school... I really want too, but i'm also afraid. And my brothers wedding is a week after I would have to leave. It's not really an excuse, but I have to keep it mind. I could do that, or I could stay here, and go back to the community college, in which I absolutely hate for 2 years, and then go on to a uni somewhere. I'm not getting any younger here. It's just a hard choice, it's all very intimidating, and the thing is. I'm not exactly 100 on what I want to even go to school for. I have a general idea. The college across country is a liberal arts school, and I would have my option of exploring different classes in my first year. I just don't know what to do. I have to make a move, and soon. But i'm frozen with fear. Then there's my family, they are very loving, but aren't really supportive. Ever. My mother is a bit of a control freak, and she's very codependant on me. like extremely. I haven't even told her about my plans because I know her reaction will be full of dramatics and awful to deal with. Even about community college. I just don't know what to do at this point. I've wracked my brains so much, that i'm about to throw my hands up, and say forget it. Spend another year, in my own personal hell. =/
beautifulsadness2 beautifulsadness2 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 14, 2011

Your Response


My problem is that I can't decide if I should stay single or fall into a relationship.

Okay!I understand the feeling of indecision and depression because I have been there.But I must tell you it's never too late to do what ever you ever wanted to do because it's your life whether you make a right or wrong decision it's still YOUR life and you have ALWAYS got choice if you REALLY want to CHANGE it.<br />
But the thing you have to realize by yourself is you MUST be willing to make some EFFORT in discovering your PASSION because you are now 23 and still young and if you find out the work you love to do you'll never have to BOTHER about anything in life because u'll be happy always.<br />
Like I discovered that I'm good at communication both oral and verbal and in particular i'm interested in writing.I still need to improve myself in this area to make a career on writing.<br />
Meanwhile I have to support myself so I have written couple of competitive exams to get into Banking sector.Of Course this is not what I truly want in my Life but to sustain myself i NEED a Job.<br />
Yup!I can understand Family commitments but still you've got choice.Don't worry too much about future because once you make a CHOICE by following your heart YOU WILL ALWAYS SUCCEED.<br />
Trust me.And yes!It requires Courage to make a Decision on your own but it is always better to follow one's heart because you'll have a sense of satisfaction that it WAS YOUR DECISION and<br />
you NEED NOT REGRET thinking "I should have done that in my past "<br />
Okay!Gather your courage and make a decision.Take your own time in discovering your passion.<br />
All the best wishes.