I Can't Make The Decision...

. It's a decision that should have been made ages ago, and now that i'm in a place where my options are open, I can't. I need a change, it's obvious. I've suffered from depression for a few years now, and it's killing me. I want to leave my hometown so bad, it's so small, and there's not much here for me. I have the option right now, to move across country in April for school... I really want too, but i'm also afraid. And my brothers wedding is a week after I would have to leave. It's not really an excuse, but I have to keep it mind. I could do that, or I could stay here, and go back to the community college, in which I absolutely hate for 2 years, and then go on to a uni somewhere. I'm not getting any younger here. It's just a hard choice, it's all very intimidating, and the thing is. I'm not exactly 100 on what I want to even go to school for. I have a general idea. The college across country is a liberal arts school, and I would have my option of exploring different classes in my first year. I just don't know what to do. I have to make a move, and soon. But i'm frozen with fear. Then there's my family, they are very loving, but aren't really supportive. Ever. My mother is a bit of a control freak, and she's very codependant on me. like extremely. I haven't even told her about my plans because I know her reaction will be full of dramatics and awful to deal with. Even about community college. I just don't know what to do at this point. I've wracked my brains so much, that i'm about to throw my hands up, and say forget it. Spend another year, in my own personal hell. =/
beautifulsadness2 beautifulsadness2
22-25, F
1 Response Nov 14, 2011

My problem is that I can't decide if I should stay single or fall into a relationship.