In Desperate Need Of Help...

I am in desperate need of healing my heart and soul right now.  i am lost.  I put my whole heart and soul into him.  he was my best friend, and I went wrong by falling in love with him, and developing deep rooted emotions.  He just walked away from me with out any resolve for me on my end.  He never returned my love, and this killed me.  At one point he said he did return my love and feelings, and i was so happy.  I even asked him as of late if he strill shared feelings for me, and he said he did.  All along his full heart was with another woman.  I am heart broken.  He was my best friend for years.  We had a bond that went above the normal friendship. 

Now here is the other part of my story.  I am married, unhappily, with 2 young children.  I fell in love with a man outside my marriage, but it was never anything physical with this other man.  I would have found a way to get full custoday of these angels of mine, and been there, though, with this other man.  I do not need this other man to leave my husband, as I do plan to do, I am not a co-dependant person, and i do not throw around my heart to just anyone. 

This other man, I feel, toyed with my mind, pulled my heart strings, and just completely messed with me.  He has left me, abandoned me, thrown me away as if I was a piece of garbage.  I feel so used, just someone he came to when he needed to feel love.  i feel he was co-dependant on me when he felt alone in this world and a hole in his heart.  I feel he kept me around, because he knew I cherished him, and it made him feel superior, like a king. 

Take note I use the words, "I Feel", because I am not for certain.  This is all just my minds perspective. 
SombreAmaranthineAmour SombreAmaranthineAmour
31-35, F
1 Response May 24, 2011

Cry it out. And then, to find your peace, let it all go. <br />
Accept that there is a lesson to be learned - one that will make you wiser and stronger. Following that, look for solutions. <br />
Focus your energy on things you can control and change.<br />
Remember that life is not a general rehearsal; this is *precious all* the time and opportunity you have.