I Need Help

 I'm a 30yr. old man that was shot on October 23, 2009 after getting off work.  I re-live this event every single day and no one seems to understand why I feel the way I feel. I'm in consisting pain and I have no one to talk to that will listen. My dream of becoming a mechanic was taking away from me that day cause I was only 7 months from graduating. I have tried talking to my wife but she don't understand how my life has changed.  I live in the dark by myself and feel as if no one cares.  Since I've been shot the only thing i have done was try to help everyone that I can and the only thing that it has gotten me is a lot of debt.  When I go to people for help they are quick to say they don't have it.  There's not a day go by that I don't wish that i had died that day.  When I was able to walk I tried to go to work but wasn't able to due to a patient kicking me in my leg I was shot in.  I found out that my wife was cheating with my cousin and he was living in the house around my children.  Now I'm to the point where I'm over 100,000 in debt, still fighting for my disability and on the verge of being homeless facing child support, and a divorce.  When i go to church i feel numb cause i don't understand how GOD can let a good person go through so much in such a short period of time.  If you read this i'm asking for everyone to please pray for me and if you have any suggestions please leave them.  May GOD be with you all!!!!
msjsr msjsr
3 Responses May 16, 2012

You are not alone even at times it will seem it. I have been on a rollercoaster ride for the last four years as a result of being true and loyal to my friends only to find out they were of the same mind. I have been arrested so about eight times in relation to my partner being alcohol dependant, my friends have let me down in business venture’s and a currently on bail for alleged fraud I have made some serious errors of judgements and I am in £30,000 of debt. I have lost, my home my family and all the personnel items that I had worked many years to build. I have been stopped and banned from driving only to be pressured to drive to my partner to give her some money for my son only to be stopped again for driving whilst banned and am in court on the 2nd August. <br />
It is easy for me to say none of this was my fault, but it was – I made the decision to stay with my partner, I made the decision to join my friends in a business venture, and I chose to drive my car whilst disqualified – if only it were that simple, if it were I would be able to sleep at night. But deep down inside I know that these things were manipulated by others for their benefit and to my downfall – however no one cares for the reason why, only that I did.<br />
The point I am making is that there are many many people in similar situations and you are not alone, your concerns and worries may be slightly different. I do not have the answers I wish I did, running away looks good but to where, who can we truly trust in this world – no one, not even ourselves and the reason is feelings we all have them and they will always let us down. I will not and cannot pray for you, as I have no fath other than my own. What I will do is say take care and remember you are not alone.

Here if you need to talk think you are the same place I was in 6 1967 after coming out of a six-month coma the learn my world was gone.

Will keep you in Prayer.