My Husand Is Bi-polar?????

My husband is currently deployed in Afghanistan, and has had a million ups and downs, attitude changes. mood swings, can't remember telling people things from one day to the next. He compulsively spends way too much money, and does things on impulse as well! Depression is always a factor too.

He has gone as far as saying that Our marriage was a mistake, that we should have waited. ( a difference of 4 months). He then said at one point that he doesn't love me like I love him, or want him to love me...HUH? He asked me to marry him.  NOW,  He said that there hasn't been any more talk about NOT being married.

He won't say he loves me any more, but repeats every chance he gets that he misses me so much, and can't wait to come home.

I know that Bi-polar Disorder is a very strange and hard to understand disorder ESPECIALLY, if you yourself does not "have" it.

I need some input on how to see the Episodes coming and what is the best thing I can do to help him, without telling him I AM HELPING. What are the triggers? How do I as his wife cope with this?? The children????  What can I do to make him understand his symptoms and receive the proper care that he needs while he is deployed?

They won't diagnose him with Bi-Polar while he is there, but it has been mentioned that he seriously is.....




vickigarcia vickigarcia
31-35, F
2 Responses Feb 20, 2009

Hi.<br />
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I had a sister-in-law who was diagnosed as BP. Boy was she a handful prior to treatment. No hallucinations, but manic behavior--very up to very down, the memory issues, irrational behavior. We actually had to do an intervention! This was back when BP was very new. She was able to con a few Drs. by seeming lucid and innocent, but eventually they figured it out. When she's on her meds, she's a great woman. Sweet, productive, etc., but when she's off...yikes!<br />
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I guess I would suggest reading up about it as much as you can to see if we're on the right track. Can you talk to anyone at his Post to insist that he be evaluated for it? If they're not looking for BP, it's so easily misdiagnosed and it takes the family that suffers to inform them of the actual symptoms b/c the patient is never forthcoming with all the details. <br />
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You may not WANT to do that, but I bet you'll have to to move forward. If you don't intercede, the therapy is just a lost cause b/c it's mistreated, and it does get worse with time. My sister-in-law got in her BMW one day, drove to another state, abandoned the car and walked around for 3 days in the elements. We all believed she was car-jacked until she got into a cab and when she could'nt pay the the cab fare, the guy drove to a police station and dropped her off there. <br />
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Sorry to be a bummer here, but if you love him and I know you do, realize that nobody else is going to help him. He may be mad at first for the circumventing him, but once he's on the correct meds and feels better, he'll be grateful. It saved Debbie's marriage, and I hate to see your life ruined over something that can be treated.<br />
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Will go out and email you my crazy story of the day. Let me know what the Vets said!

Well i think Bi-Polar means that someone has massive mood swings, and may have hallucinations.<br />
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I dont really know much, sorry, but that's about all i know.