So Im 18 And The Girl I Wanted To Be My First Just...broke Me

I've waited years for this girl and always wanted my first to be with her... well thats not gonna happen and im cool with it, its all past tence now.

I dont think gonna ever really have feelings like that for awhile and i was wondering is it really such a big deal if i lose it to some girl i dont even really care about. she's preatty cute and thinking the more experiance i get... idk is it really worth the wait?

SteezySteve SteezySteve
18-21, M
6 Responses Mar 14, 2010

There Are 4 love Relationships In This World: Monogamy ( 1 On 1 ), Polyandry ( 1 Woman, Many Men ), Polygamy ( 1 Man, Many Women ), And Polyamory ( Many Loves For Both Men And Women ). If You Want To Meet Women For Sex You Can Try Adult Dating Sites! You Meet Up With Women Just For Sex, Nothing More! On Some Sites You Have To Pay, But There Are One's That Are Totally Free! There Is Nothing Wrong With Exploring Your Own Sexuality, It's Natural And It's A Part Of Nature! If You Deny Nature You Deny Your Self! Look At Things As A Learning Experience! As A Matter Of Fact You Can Consider This As Love Training! Why Not Have Sex With A Friend? Friends Are There To Help Each Other Out Right? So Yeah, A Friends With Benefits Relationship Would Be Good For You! It Will Still Have Meaning And You Won't Get Hurt Either! Just Make Sure You Know The Difference Between Love And Sex! But Most Of All Make Sure You Educate Your Self On Sex And Sexuality 1st Before You Have Sex! Books, Magazines, Articles, E-Books, PDF's, And Instructional Videos, As Well As People's Points Of View!

Well at least we agree on the fact that yes, Steezy IS free to do as he pleases - however he asked for input, and in doing so he has received perspectives from both sides. Making the decision to lose one's virginity in an emotional, and love-line sense is not at all prudish, and not always a religiously dominated experience. When a person loses their virginty to someone they are in love with or love, it would be wise to consider that (although it would be ideal), nothing lasts forever. Who s/he loves today, might be an enemy tomorrow, for any number of reasons. That's not to say it will happen like that, but just something to be mindful of.<br />
<br />
neonshades - it is hard to appreciate something I rarely see, when you passed comment on my own relationship. I assure you, appreciation is not of concern - ever.<br />
<br />
Back to you Steezy - as horriblegirl said, there are a million things we do for the first time. I just don't want you to be mislead into thinking that your first time will be perfect, in any way shape or form. That's not to say it can't/won't be, but certainly unlikely that it will be. Don't be deterred though, part of the fun of sex is the learning and experimenting nature of it, not just for reproduction. What you don't like here, will be changed there, what you never knew, will be tried next time, what you like may not be what you know - BUT YOU WILL LEARN WHAT YOU LIKE, AND MORE.<br />
<br />
I still stand by that you need to decide which is more important for you to make this decision - the emotional aspect, or the physical aspect.

Speaking for myself it was about the emotional connection. I dated my first g/f for 1 1/2 years and could have slept with her but didn't purely out of respect for her. I'd had romantic visions of how my/our first time would be. When the relationship ended and she was deflowered by someone else within 2 weeks my entire concept of love was shattered. I stopped believing in love and it became all about empty sex on a grand scale. Many years later I came to realize that it's all about the emotional connection. Sex is plentiful as pennies, but the emotional connection is the rare $100,000.00 bill, very rare and very valuable. I do wish I could re-do my first time, I'd have waited for it to be something very special as I'd envisioned it to be, not the sex romp that it was which affected countless future relationships for me. Orckiss you don't even seem to appreciate what you have. What if you weren't the the first but the hundredth your partner slept with? Would you see him the same way? Would you feel as special to him? Just because you don't appreciate someone choosing to wait and share themselves only with you doesn't make the concept religious, prude, or anything negative. Steezy is free to do as he chooses. I hope he's happy with his choice whatever it is. Some things only happen once and can't ever be taken back wether it be waiting and losing your virginity with someone you love, or choosing to put the key in the ignition and drive when you're drunk. There are consequences one can't ever undo. It took me 50 years to learn this simple fact. I'd like to save someone else that fate. Good luck Steezy.

Rojo, WTF?! Dude, your talking to a young adult male - not a woman trying to convince herself to be celebate to take her vows of chastity to join church...<br />
<br />
Okay Steezy, here's what I think. I'm a 23 year old married woman. The man I lost my virginity to is the man I am married to. We had sex before marriage even came up in fleeting conversation. I was 17 then. I don't regret it, not at all. I will say, that through all the conversations I have ever had with men and women alike, that not one of them considers their first time to be anything spectacular. In fact, most of them would rather forget.<br />
<br />
Let me break it down for you (1st time for a guy, 1st time for a girl): Guy - fumbles around blindly and **** too soon out of excitement, which is normal, but embarrassing for many. Girl - pain associated with anxiety causing insifficient lubrication, which, when coupled with the tightness of an unbroken hymen/ virgin vagina... Well, you can imagine even with external factors being "perfect", the act itself for the first time is less than a beautiful memory.<br />
<br />
Honestly? There are a great deal of ideations and religious/cultural/societal beliefs that can impact your decision, but at the end of the day, it is YOUR decision - not anyone else's. Whether you set it as some high-pedestal sacred goal or commitment or not, maybe one time you'll be with a girl just fooling around and before you know it, you'll have surrendered your virginity.<br />
<br />
Ask yourself, how much does this really matter? Which part of it matters? The physicality of the act, the emotional connection, the religious standpoint... When you know those answers, maybe then you will know it's importance.<br />
<br />
Good luck in whatever you choose.

Yes, it is worth the wait. Take it from someone who didn't wait for the next true love and regrets it. You'll never have a second "first time" and it should be with someone you love. You can never go back and I believe that your first time being just out of satisfying raging hormones will affect your outlook on your future relationships in a demeaning and detremental way. I loved and respected my first love immensely. When we parted I was crushed and sought solace with many women sexually, I lost respect for them and for women in general. It took me almost 30 years to refocus on and accept what's really important. I wish there was a re-do button I could push.

i dont think that losing your virginity is the huge deal that everyone makes it out to be, there are millions of things that we do for the first time, and they dont have a special name. if you wait for it to be with someone special, thats great, if you dont, that thats fine too. i dont think i know anybody who stayed with the person they lost their virginity to. its juts a time in your life that comes and goes.<br />
maybe it would be better to do it with someone your not completely in love with, then it wont hurt as much when you go your separate ways.