HELP!!!

I don't know if the problem is with me or with the women I have been with. I'm looking for a woman who is able to be spontaneous yet still be able to cuddle down and watch a movie durring a torrential downpour. Someone who is not afraid to tell whats on her mind but still respects my opinions. Someone who is logical, honest and sincere. In my experiences this woman does not exist yet I don't want to lower my expectations... Am I asking for too much? I've met with failure after failure. Met with all the mind games. Mabye I am just looking for someone who is more mature yet still is a kid at heart... or someone who just hasn't been tainted by the misdeeds of childish men. *sigh* i'm open for interpretation :P
Xeno Xeno
26-30, M
6 Responses Jul 6, 2007

Lol. Sounds kinda like me. You're not aiming too high, but maybe what you are looking for is rare. Perhaps you should just find a girl that fits at least part of what you want in a woman. If you are happy with her and the relationship it's better than nothing, no?

I think the hardest qualification you're looking for falls into the last category. It's going to be hard to find a woman who has not been "tainted by the misdeeds of childish men." If a person isn't scarred by their previous relationships to some degree, then they were probably the one who left the scars on someone else. I mean I've been lied to, cheated on, put down and beaten up so yeah...I've got some issues, especially around trust and intimacy. Unfortunately, the more I look around EP, the more I realize they're also really common issues, with men and women alike. Really, all you can do is assure the woman you're interested in that you're not going to make the same mistakes - You seem like a very nice guy, so I'm sure you would not. :) - and hopefully, they can keep their crazy locked away.

hehe well I actually have studied formal logic... which could be more of a problem when put into practical use than not :P As for kimosabi I'm 28 years old :P and I've found a few people but they all end up being psycho in one form or another.... to an extreme :P

i fit what you described almost perfectly<br />
i think you might be too old for me though. keep looking :). <br />
how old are ya btw because i have older friends maybe i could play matchmaker.<br />
<br />
<br />
you seem like someone any girl would want. i dont understand how you havent found someone yet.<br />
you will eventually.

Maybe one way is to stop looking for 'qualities in a woman', and instead seek 'characteristics of a relationship'? People are very multifaceted after all, and sometimes need time to express certain parts of their personality. Also, maybe you should ditch the "logical" requirement- frequently female and male logical are two very different things, and unless you've studied formal Logic in a pure or applied sense, I'd bet you're not as logical as you think you are ;)

*LOL* I fit perfectly in your profile! But, I'm already taken...<br />
You know, many of us have some standards and expectations and we try to find a person to squeeze into them. Then we get disappointed. Well, I've been there myself. I grew up with a mother who had a major attitude problem. She was a beauty and a brain all her life and men used to chase her forever. So she had extremely high and practically impossible standards for men. Too bad none of the men had the whole list of qualities, but only partial. So, I absorbed the attitude automatically and made men worship me. The more they did, the more expectations I had. I carried the attitude over to my current relationship where I kept expecting and expecting. I wanted him to be this way and that way so that he'd do this and that. When he fell short, I was dissatisfied and he felt bad. Two years of drama and negativity finally made everything explode. Then I realized, it's like a veil came off and I saw him for who he really was - someone who desperately loves me and wants to make me happy. It took me 2 months to completely reorganize my thinking and to start appreciating this wonderful person. Now, whenever I'm about to get upset that he doesn't read my thoughts or whatever, I bring out 200 positive qualities that he has and the drama becomes pointless. <br />
My point: don't lower your standards but try to find something else wonderful in people that they have to offer you. Some requirements of yours are very specific, therefore I assume that if a girl doesn't have couple of them, you'll still survive. Seek the connection with the individual rather than the willingness to watch movies with you in the rain. The more you live and experience, the more you realize that details don't matter that much. Aim global and you'll open the gates of meeting your woman much wider.