Cervical Cancer

Is it really possible? I asked myself that once I recieved the news. I also screamed out at God and asked him if he really existed why he would do this to me. I am two months shy of my 18th Birthday and my Doctors are telling me to prepare for the worst. They say I may have Cervical Cancer. I think what hurts the most is the fact that they told me I may not be able to have kids. My mom has Heart problems and refuses treatment says she wants to live her life and die in piece. My father fell off a roof he was working on about a year ago and is dieing from the fall and any day now I could recieve the call that he has passed. When I was 13 I started to battle an auto immune disease which the Doctors still aren't able to pin point which one it is yet. I was in and out of hospital for a few years some people telling me I'm crazy and others pulling their hair out. I haven't had a flare up in almost a year I still have some symptoms but nothing compared to what it was. Now I am trying to wrap my mind around this one terrified that I might not make it this time. When ever I started to give up when I was batteling the Auto immune disease my mom was there to fight for me, but now she has given up on life. How am I suppost to hold on and deal with this. I have dreams I wanted to be in the military, I wanted to finish my PHD in Criminal Psychology, and I wanted to be a police officer/Sex crimes and Homicide Detective. Now I am being told that my dream may never happen. I was at 122 pounds and now I'm down to 97 and continue to drop weight, I have chronic Pelvic pain all the time it hurts so bad, and I always exhausted and just want to sleep its so hard to pull myself out of bed and keep my eyes open. My doctor said I have a problem with my thyroid aswell so that could be contributing to it aswell. How am I suppost to make this decision on my own. I have my boyfriend we have been dating for just over a year and he is there but he just lost his father and then his dads mom passed away from cancer.. When does the pain and struggeling end. I am fighting with my insurance company because the closest Gynecological Oncologist is 60 miles away and no one else takes my insurance. I have been left un treated for many months now and my Doctors are afraid that if it was just cancerous cell then it might be Cancer now.. I am so terrified I feel like I am on my own on this one.. I can't go back to college this year because I'm scared I may miss too many classes and my GPA will drop. I just need some advice or someone to talk to. Please if anybody can help or may be going through the same please HELP ME! I need it.
LieutenantWinston LieutenantWinston
18-21
Aug 11, 2010