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Im Lost

I dont know anything. Some days i hurt so bad inside i just want to end it all. But then i think about it. I was rased as a christan. So taking my own life would damn me to hell. Then i think about who i will live behind. Parents, brothers, sister, and a few friends that might axcualy care about me. Im frightfull about really talking to anyone about this because im afrade of what they will think about me. Whats worse, to have people show you pitty because they think your crazy or handycap? Or to end everything yourself? Whos to even say God really exsist! I dont know what to do with my life. Just keep on exsisting on as just another pittiful person in this crappy would thats not going to ****, but is ****. Im just frightfull of everything.

takeawildguess takeawildguess 19-21, M 5 Responses Aug 21, 2007

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You had a twisted upbringing hey?? Look bro your on this site trying to reach out to someone, because?? You want/ need attention right?? I would guess you didn't get enough love in your past, or currently, only because your on here trying to get people to make u feel better?? Am I right? Stop this negative talking ****, and stop trying to find the easy way out..... I bet if you could see a few years in front of you, the way life goes, would realise its not so bad.. It gets better bro trust me, have you ever had a tight ***** in your face???

I did not try and kill myself but medicaly I decided one day that there was not going to be any more resources used to save my life. I tried to bleed out with an intestinal bleed and I refused medical help until I had a stroke and passed out. Othes made decisions for me at that point. The stress center I just got out of helped alot but I still don't understand why I am being kept alive because I am totaly useless with three of my limbs paralized.

There will always be terrible days where you don't feel like going on. But it shows a real strength of character to reach out to someone for help. They won't judge you, really. I was scared of the same thing too, but to be bale to open up is so beneficial. When you have made this first step, you can gradually start to feel more positive and look at the world in a more positive veiw.

Some days really suck, but then we have other really good days which make it all worth while. And by taking your life away.....are you referring to suicide? Maybe you should do something that makes you really happy: rent a funny movie, eat your favorite ice cream, just do something that will make you feel better for a little while. Take a walk, clear your head, think about what you want to do with the rest of your life.

When I was younger I tried to kill myself too. I didn't see the need for me to live any longer. I thought about everyone who I would leave behind and that did deter me from slicing my wrists though I felt like there wasn't any reason for me to live. I didn't do anything that would help the world. The world wouldn't even know that I had gone. I tried to think positive. Though, for me, that didn't work. I soon was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. I also had depression. Now I am not saying that you have something wrong with you at all. But I go agree with pussycat91406, Think positive. There are people just like you and I am one of them! If you ever need to talk, I'm here!