Seventy One Days

So from time to time I update my clean time and where I am at in my recovery process. I don't expect anyone to read this, it's just kind of nice that I can put it out to the universe. So, I have 71 day's clean, and it's not ******* easy right now. I feel disconnected from myself, god, my sponsor, my entire world. And believe me, I have tried to reach out, somewhat..in my own way. But right now it's getting hard. My mom just left for two weeks, meaning no one to be accountable to for two weeks. This is scaring the **** out of me, I miss her already. Feelings are weird and foreign. My somewhat significant other is leaving for detox tomorrow morning, then a three month treatment program. I feel codependent. I feel shaky in my recovery. So I hope the next time I update this thing I will have even more clean time. Just for today though..that even seems impossible right now. Just for this second I guess.
emmaliejay emmaliejay
18-21, T
May 10, 2012