I can't stand it anymore. Where do I start? Well, I coming to believe that I settled when I met and married my husband. He's not abusive in anyway, just well boring and lacks any initiative. Looking back I guess he was always like that but you make excusesand look past things when you first bexome Iinvolved with someone. I really believed we were on the same page as far as ambitions and interests but as it stands, we clearly are not. We do have the same values but thats not enough to make a fruitful marriage.

We now have beautiful 4 month old son. I am not working currently because I plan on going back to school. Other than my training in massage, I have nothing else going for me. Massage ended up being a dead end and terribly difficult to rely on financially. Other than that food service is all I got and I dont think I have to explain to you how far you can go there. No on is willing to hire elsewhere without e experience no matter how entry level. So I neeeeeed school.

Ive been home with my son since he was born which is both a blessing and a curse. The blessing of course is that I am able to bond with him and spend time with him. The curse is I have absolutely no other outlit. I have no personal friends, no car of my own, no money, and live somewhere fairly removed from easy access to the world. I cant just walk up the street to have some independence. As much as I have vented to hubby, he seems to think if he ignores it it will go away. If I wanted to do something I have to initiate it and no full well the entire time he just can wait to be home watching tv. Dont get me wrong....im am not a hi-maintenance person. I just need some **** stimuation. Im home allllllll day everyday. I can't take it. Its not just recently either. This has been my life for nearly a year. Ive had to postpone school till I can hopefully get child care assistance. So im still waiting for life. Husband is happy with status quo...work, food, tv and bed everyday. You'd think he cld atleast try and put himself in my shoes. Stuck and no where to go. Dont get me wrong the man deserves to relax when he gets home but tv alllll night even the weekends!? We dont do anything unless I ask or its grocery shopping.

Its as if he's slipped into some other dimension whwre we've been married for 30 years...its been a little over a year! He is the most unspontanious, unmotivated and unreliable person in personal sense. I cant stand it. God, I guess im done now. So much to writw but too much.
eusapia eusapia
31-35, F
3 Responses Aug 17, 2014

Message me if you need someone to talk to.

Make sure he knows how huge of an issue this has become for you. Otherwise sooner or later this will turn to resentment. I know in my marriage there were several times I didn't even think there was a problem until her temper boiled over and she was so fed up that I wasn't meeting her needs. I also know how frustrating it can be to feel ignored. I wish you the best and hope you two can figure it out cause I sure couldn't.

Thank you, I need some sort of encouragement lol. This is not easy. The problem is I have talked to him about this so many times I feel stupid bringing it up again which in turn does lead to some aerious resentment. Im not sure if its his inability to understand how ligitimately isolating it is or he thinks I only occationally feel this way or if he things if he pretends everything is ok itll just go away. I really dont get it. I used to look forward to him coming home now its sort of EHHH! He just lays on the couch all night and watches tv. No real conversation cus, well, whats to talk about lol? We dont share anything or experiences anymore.

Trust me, he's not going to change.

You know, I think thats part of my resentment and hopelessness. I believe that. Most of his excuses stem from being tired from work. News flash! He's gonna be working for the next 30 years...so this is what I have to look forward to I guess? He loves to talk the talk when it comes to plans but go figure almost never happens. And you know why....cus he's happy and content.