Is This Just Part Of Who I Am
Once again I find that I have been drawn in to the emotional life of others and once again I become withdrawn and at odds with myself. Is this just something that I have to face every so often? Is this just part of who I am?
People seem to seek me out when they have a problem or they are facing emotional issues or they just want to hide from their life, relationships or feelings. I have always thought they found me but I have started to see that I quite often find them. I am drawn to people like this….I seem to need them but at the same time I cannot deal with the emotions that they bring with them.
I end up cutting all ties and moving on, starting completely afresh and for a lot of the time I keep a big distance between me and the world. I don’t like to be touched by strangers and have had issues with personal relationships in the past but I can also be quite a sexual being and have used sex as a means of escapism, using that person and then moving on. No emotional ties, no friendship, no needs to deal with, no anger to face and no emotional mind bashing once they become too attached.
Personal space keeps me within my self-inflicted boundaries. It stops me from being too involved and getting sucked in. I know people think that sometimes I don’t care and that is true; I don’t. I cant because if I do it will eat me alive. Now I just keep that void between me and the world but every now and again someone gets in and then I have to start all over again.
My personal space is so precious. It is the most valuable thing in my world.