Not Sure What To Do

Im here because i just need someone to tell me what to do. I think i might have avpd (avoidant personality disorder) however im to afraid to tell my parents. I kinda just wanted to describe how i was feeling and see if you could just give me a shove in either directions (whether to tell my parents or im just trying to make up things to get attention) So here we go i guess.
I am a 15 year old girl, i am funny and nice when im in small groups with very close friends, however the moment someone I dont know well steps in i instantly close off. Im afraid to say something embarrasing or stupid. Im afraid of what they might think of me. Im afraid of how i look. I become so anxious its terrible!
When i am in class and the teacher calls out for partners i instantly become really anxious, and instead of trying to go find a partner and risk getting rejected (if they already have a partner or something) i simply sit there and do my work on my own. I constantly hope that the teachder will assign seats and partners just so i dont have to interact with people i do not know. I would much rather be alone then in a group with people i do not know. I hate going to parties (because i dont know everyone) I often fee like an outsider unless im with my very close friends.
I have none of these problems on the internet though? Im always open and nice and funny on the internet. For example, this post, i could never imagine telling anyone this, but you, some stranger, i can easily tell these things.
One final symptom that annyos the crap out of my boyfriend is that i have allot of troubles displaying affection in public, but when we are alone im perfectly fine. Thanks for reading this. If you have any other questions i'd be happy to answer them.
maxwelljay maxwelljay
1 Response May 10, 2012

You're not alone. I'm just like this except for the affection thing. I have trouble expressing any affection whatsoever, and whenever. But I'm trying to help myself right now. I might tell my parents I need counselling or meds, but not right now I guess... I don't know. I'm about just as lost as you are.<br />
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But I know exactly what you're talking about when you say you're nervous in public but okay on the internet. That's why I'm able to respond to you and tell you somethings about myself that differ from you. It's like I'm afraid that any tiny difference (irl) will make someone look at me like I'm stupid/crazy/disgusting/whatever, and I'm easily hurt by things like that.