31 Mom Of 4 And So Sad

so my name is April i am 31 and i am with a man that just don't seam to see how things that he will do hurt me . I have tryed talking to him , crying,fighting,leaving it is like no matter what i do he just don't want to here what it is that i have to say.It is like any thing that i say to him or anything i don't like or if he dues something wrong he will say that i am just trying to start a fight ......who the hell just wants to start a fight? if i have something to say to him that is bad about him in any way "i am just wanting to fight' . I have told him that this is not it and that i hate fighting and that something Have to Be talked about even if they are not happy things such as ...him listening to me if i am talking , i can talk to him for an hour or more and he will not know anything that i am trying to talk about,or if he don't want to talk he will just go to bed and see me siting there crying and do nothing or try to make me feel bad for things that he is the one doing them or not doing them ,or he will just sit there and say nothing and not even look at me . and when he gets mad he gets pissed and there is no stoping him if that means the hole house is going to be broken or that he is going to tell me its over and leave or ......3 times 3times now he has hit me in 1 year , and then he tells me that i make him do this. Now don't get me wrong i have a big mouth and i can be the big ***** of the house but i don't want to be . i don't know what to do because when we are not fighting we are so in love we fit so well and he in a way saved my life . he is a good dad and a good man but when it comes to me and what i need from him every thing gos to hell .we don't want to brake up we want to work things out ....we have been together for 8 years now and have 2 kids together and 4 kids with the 2 i had before him , my 4 all call him dad and he is wonderful with them all .but when it comes to me every thing that i want or need from my husband is like not going to happen, but if he wants it then we are good. i am soooo sad all the time and i just want it all to stop so we can move on . i don't know what to do
sadgirlapril sadgirlapril
31-35
May 24, 2012