My boyfriend screwed up our relationship

One year ago, I found my bf was posting on an internet message board without telling me. It was mostly innocent, but there were instances of flirting with other women, making sexual comments, and commenting about pics of women. It nearly ruined our relationship, because he didn't tell me he was on that site (he knows that I am open about everything and that's what I want in a relationship), and also because he knew some things he said would not be okay with me. I also found out things about his previous relationships, just intimate details, that I wish I could forget, but has really strained things.

Recently, I found that he was posting on another message board without telling me. This time, he didn't flirt or make many sexual comments, but he again hid it from me. We nearly broke up again. I told him it would have been fine with me if he was posting if he had told me, but he had been posting there for nearly a year. That means 1 year of daily lying and hiding. Also, on this board, he made an imaginary gf, which hurt me. He said he did it so that no one would flirt with him, but it was pretty detailed and I think that part of the explanation is fishy.

He said he needed a place to go where he could relax and that the problems we were having would have made it impossible to stay together if he didn't have a place like that. I told him-I would rather have you as an honest friend than a lying boyfriend.

We are trying to work it out. But honesty is such a huge deal to me in a relationship. He did improve from the first time in that he was not flirting, he kept it very tame, etc. He says that he was going to tell me about it at a time when I became less jealous in the future. I told him that's no excuse for lying, and that I would not have been jealous as long as he was acting appropriately. We are having so much trouble from it that I need advice.
daniela227 daniela227
22-25, F
Jan 22, 2013