Where do I begin...
I married a wonderful man a few years ago and all was well in the begining, as time has gone on, the la
My husband is suffering from Manic depression, as a result of which I am not able to cope myself and am also depressed and anxious because I don't know what to do or how to cope.
I have had to leave the marital home because my husband was violent and abusive, he did not see how much he was hurting me, until I left
Since I have left, he has become sad and says he feels lonley, he is also under anti-depressants and has now gone to the GP and counsellor over his condition, he is getting counselling
By him living alone, he is constanly pushing me to move back, he has now got to the point where he says that he is self-harming and hates living alone, he will put himself into a hospital so he is no longer alone
He grew up with a mother with severe bi polar, his parents split up and since I have left the marital home he says he feels abandoned and alone, he says everyone abandons him.
I love him, my family and friends love him, but no matter how much we try to make him feel loved, it is never enough he pushes away those that love him the most and then calls himself a failure and says he is alone.
By moving out of the marital home I am able to try to pick up the pieces of my life in small bits, but the guilt of leaving him on his own haunts me everyday.
He says I have abandoned him, that he wants me to move back home, but I feel I am unable to do so as I can't cope with his expectations and demands of me. I don't know how to communicate with him.
He relies on my emotions to react
We have been through marriage counselling, individual counselling, we are both on anti-depressants, whenever I try to see positive in life all I can see is darkness when I speak to him
He is obsessed with buying things, he is an e-bay fanatic, I have so many clothes, shoes, bags, etc..bought for me I feel like a puppet
I beleive I can make him better with my love for him, but find it hard to know what step to take next
I have been bad, I had an affair, the guilt of this haunts me and in some ways I feel he has a right to abuse me, this is why I let him
We grew up so differently, I have a loving family with siblings, his parents got divorced when he was young, his mother has severe bi polar, his father left him when he was young and he has no siblings and little family that care for him.
I feel I am his last hope of a normal life, but drowning in a black hole trying to help him
I don't know if anyone out there can relate to me, but it would be good to find someone to talk to